Coffee and Diapers

After more than a year of investing in our labor of love here, the time has come to really dive into motherhood. We want to be centered completely around the hearth, giving fully to our families. It has been a real joy to share with you all our insights, views and thoughts over this past year. We feel that our message has been put out there: find holiness in the ordinary, love your path to sanctification, embrace your vocation . Now we don't want to simply rehash what we feel are thoughtful and valuable posts, so we are surrending this little apostolate in realization that "all good things must come to an end." We hope it's clear to our readers that LIVING our message is more important than blogging it, so we are encouraging our readers to also really dig into their own vocations. It's important to find encouragement in your own lives and not necessarily on the computer screen. Holiness is found in the shadows of the cross and Sia, Ellie and Hope are all striving to get into those shadows. Holiness is also found through learning to pray as you work, through offering to God the daily work of your mind, heart and hands. We thank you for the outlet to express our views and we are keeping an index up of our posts that have helped shape how we mother our own children. Hopefully they can serve as encouragement to you if you are having a bad day or need an idea on something specific. It's been a tremendous joy for us to receive all the e-mails expressing gratitude and encouragement. So it's a bittersweet farewell that we bid here. However, we feel that our own lives will be made richer by this choice to not be online as much.

For thousands of years women have had to choose the quiet road: the same road chosen by Our Lady of Nazareth. You are not alone. It's not a road that's publicized or aggrandized by our world. It's simple, demanding and filled with sorrows that ultimately serve to complete our joy. But you have been handpicked by Christ. He finds you worthy for this vocation and He trusts you even when you don't trust yourself. The sanctification is real. We wish you all the best.

Happy Mothering!!!

the difference

2007-07-03T06:54:00.001-07:00

About a year ago I had a great conversation with Hope; I told her she should post her thoughts but Hope is a wonderfully occupied mother and due with her little Number Four any day now. So I'll throw it out here because these warm summer days offer so much promise!

I send my kids outside often. When I'm trying to get something done or to burn some of their boundless energy, they are scooted out the back door where they race around on trikes or play in Papa's wood pile or tease/torture the dog. Outside is a good place.

But there's been times when I, in need of fresh air or a diversion, go out back with them and sit on the swing and watch them play, or even start bouncing a ball around. I'm ashamed to admit that sometimes when I've gone out there Xavier looks at me perplexed and ask, "Mom, what do you need?" or "What are you doing?" Was it really that odd of a sight to see Mama out in the backyard with the children?! Sad, I know. But it was the truth.

Hope pointed out to me that there is a big difference in sending your kids outside and taking them outside. My boys get so excited if I actually play with them! Or sometimes they'll even ask me to simply watch them play.

But beyond the backyard is where the treasures are. We are blessed to live near the beach, and mountains, and two State Parks that are within ten minutes of us north and south. What fun we have walking the trails, throwing sticks in the water, or picking up rocks to watch the tiny crabs scuttle away! We get messy sometimes; but the payoff is worth it. I want to fill their minds with many memories of being outside in God's creation and imagining Explorer games and finding a new kind of snake or bird to wonder about. I want them to be familiar with various plants and trees and learn to love and respect nature. I want them to fall asleep at night happily exhausted and fulfilled with the sights and sounds and feel of rocks, dirt, driftwood and shells. And I want them to have fond memories of Mom being excited to do this stuff with them.

You may be thinking that this is nice but you are in the city and the nearest sign of nature is the neon palm tree in the nail parlor window down the road. But even urbanites have a world to explore! If it's not practical to travel frequently to open or natural space, simple walks around the block can be significant in a child's life. Don't walk like you're on a mission to lose 20 pounds (though this can be a nice added benefit!) but simply enjoy being outside with the children. Run up and down stairways. Point out "helicopters" that fall from maple trees. Whistle with a piece of grass in between your fingers. Say hello to neighbors. Give to the panhandlers. Feed the ducks at the city park. Let your kids learn the public transit system and TALK with strangers on the bus! There is much to learn and explore in ANY environment. And God has placed us each in our own particular place for a reason. And as Catholics, our community is sanctified by our very presence if we are in the state of grace... so we should really dive into it as much as our stations in life allow.

So live that difference sometimes. Let the laundry sit there for just a half hour longer and take your children outside.

Baby Benjamin

2007-06-29T08:00:00.001-07:00

Emily B. gave birth to a healthy little boy Benjamin Gary on June 11th! We offer her and all the new mothers congratulations and prayers. Rest up and enjoy the little ones!

How relevant!

2007-06-29T07:37:00.000-07:00

I suggest all you mamas with boys check out the trailer for this book that came out last month:

The Dangerous Book for Boys

I believe you can also pick it up at Costco...

Amnesty and Abortion

2007-06-25T18:56:00.000-07:00

I encourage everyone to write to Amnesty international: admin-us@aiusa.org The organization that has done so much good for human rights has stooped to supporting abortion... something entirely inconsistent with its premise of defending human rights. This is the e-mail I sent:

*****************
I used to really admire Amnesty. What great work your organization has done! How sad and pitiful that now you are simply nothing more than another abortion lobby group. And shame on you for calling a spade a heart! As if it's about women's rights?! What about pre-born women?! Where is their justice? Talk about the ultimate discrimination: "A child is only a child if conceived under desirable circumstances." Is a person conceived in an unjust act any less of a person? What lies you must tell yourselves in order to justify the grave wrongs you are promoting!

It's not about "theology." It's about the ultimate human right. And if Amnesty International can not support the single most fundamental right of any human being... than they have no business pretending they are out to protect human dignity.

I'm hereby withdrawing all support of this organization and will not be able to count me or my friends/family among your benefactors. Abortion is the epitome of injustice. Until you get that straight, you're not doing society any good at all.

speaking of salt of the earth

2007-06-22T11:33:00.000-07:00

Sia's last post reminded me of a point I just want to touch on. I keep going back to a book I've been reading off and on for about a year now: "Happy are you Poor: The simple life and spiritual freedom." My how convicting it is! But I'm still working on the log in my own eye, so I'm not going to digress on all the lessons it's teaching me.

One thing really struck me though: We are the salt of the earth, the spark in the pile of ash. We are Christ's ambassador's on earth. But do we look like it? Do we look or dress or decorate or talk any differently from the rest of the world? Can people tell that there is something about us? We are pilgrims in this world but do we act like it... keeping the eye on the Fatherland? Or do we "pitch our tents" here, try to get a mortgage paid up, make sure our insurance coverage is stellar, and invest like crazy "just in case?" Walking in your home, can someone really see the Gospel message being lived... aside from the Crucifix on the wall and maybe a holy picture or two? Or is there clutter? Electronics galore? An unneccesary vehicle in the driveway? Boutique brand names in the wardrobes?

Depressing isn't it? To think how far we still have to go. I know I do. But praise God for being patient! Praise Him for being merciful. Praise Him for helping me to SEE these barnacles that are weighing me down, as I journey to the Beatific Vision.

To be the salt of the earth... is to live the radical Gospel message every single day in every single detail of our lives. On this feast day of someone who was wealthy but humble and penitential and ALWAYS mindful of his FINAL HOME... we ask St. Thomas More to pray for us.

-Ellie

3 little thoughts

2007-06-21T00:35:00.001-07:00

I haven't been feeling too inspired lately to post much. I feel that I don't have much to offer in ways of inspration. In ways of sharing and simple hellos, I simply haven't had the time. I wonder: how do you mothers out there with more than 2 children have any time to even read our site?? I don't do anything online anymore aside from stopping here and at my email a couple times a week... hmm. Anyhow, here are a few random things to throw out at you, totally unrelated to eachother but all recent thoughts I have been wanting to share.

We need to always remember that our homes are little flames of Christ's life on earth. We are the salt of the earth... but are we?? Let us not grow slack in what we are called to do! Think of the monasteries in the dark ages... This is similar to our homes in the world. These little homes of ours can become little sanctuaries of Love. My prayer is that our home, our family, will become an icon of God's Love, reflecting the love He shares with Jesus and the Holy Spirit, reflecting the love of the Holy Family.

We all have those bad days: when we are up to our necks in housework and out of patience for our little ones who can be so trying at times. On our bad days, it is good to recall the work that so many others do with children... some have to deal with 3rd world poverty and diseases and such... Our work is easy compared to some. Suck it up... just do the work....deal with the messy diaper... deal with the stubborn child... It's not that bad!

Something that is the most encouraging to me in times of frustration with my children (mainly my older one of almost 2 years) is the fact that he loves me so much. This reality, that he loves me, watches me, looks up to me and depends on me for every single thing, is what saves me from too much impatience or lazy mothering on my selfish days. He loves me-- adores me! Why? Because I am his mother! Simple, but profound and so incredibly inspiring. When I remember this, I usually give him a big hug and look into his eyes-- this gives me the strength to press on with renewed mental, spiritual and heartfelt strength through my day. Stop and smell the flowers! Mothering is delightful... it is sweet...

Cheers!

~Sia

Holy Father's intentions for the month of June 2007

2007-06-21T00:30:00.000-07:00

Though we are indeed in the second half of the month already, let us keep in our prayers the Holy Father's intentions for this month of June 2007:

General: That the Lord may protect sailors and all those involved in maritime activities.
Missionary: That the Church in North Africa may bear witness, with its presence and its action, to God's love for every individual and all people.

Fanciful tales

2007-06-19T13:33:00.000-07:00

I doubt I'd be sharing anything novel by digressing on how important imaginative play and stories are for children. So I'd just like to recommend a book that has been a tried and true treasure from my own childhood and that is still a proven gem with my own children: Told Under the Magic Umbrella. While it's out of print now, it's worth your time trying to locate it through a used online bookstore. The book is full of modern fairy tales (or "fanciful tales") which serve a distinct niche in the brain of a child. Probably most of kids books you find in the library are of this sort. But there is a HUGE difference between kiddy stories and children's literature. One is like cotton candy for the brain... not always BAD for kids, but certainly devoid of any nutrition... any real or significant meaning. And this is probably the majority of books currently on the market now. The other is the whole Easter feast; these types of stories "...show life from a new angle, like objects seen through a prism. It can open fresh ranges of vision and understanding, rouse the perceptions of beauty in hitherto disregarded things." Let me just share an excerpt from the Foreword of "Magic Umbrella" that explains this a bit more:

Make-believe is a great resource of childhood. It is a child's first essay in imagination, his attempts to interpret a strange and confusing world in terms of his own liking. Explanations of the older mind are not always satisfactory; they take too much for granted, and the child mind, insatiably curious, often prefers to invent his own explanations. Young children are apt to have rather tidy minds; they dislike loose ends instinctively; they want to find a reason for everything, and where reason is not forthcoming they will promptly make one up for themselves, and more often than not their reasoning takes the form of a story. In a word, the are born creators of folklore, a folklore entirely their own and concerned with the things around them.

The modern fairy tale-- or fanciful tale, to make a useful distinction-- takes full account of this creative instinct. It differs from its long line of predecessors in concerning itself not so much with fantastic elembents outside the child's experience as with the more everyday things of his own world. It realizes that magic, like charity, begins best at home.

create your cenacle

2007-06-16T13:08:00.000-07:00

So often I hear stay-at-home mothers talk in breaths of exhaustion about how they are longing for adult interaction. It's too bad really. Of course we are social creatures and getting together with friends every now and again is fine and healthy. But this longing to get out of the home sometimes stems from an unhealthy attitude with which we see 'home' in the first place. The home can be a prison cell if your mind isn't properly disposed to accepting and LOVING the vocation Christ has handpicked for us. Conversely, the home can also be a beautiful refuge to cultivate a unique, quiet path to sanctity if you are in the state of grace to accept and cherish the thorns.

These words come from St. Peter Julian Eymard, on the obligations of mothers:

She ought to love her home. In order to be happy in her home, a mother must look upon it as another Nazareth; she must delight in it, and love the solitude and seclusion of it which keeps the world's scandals at a distance and shelters her from its dangers; she ought to transform it into a cenacle of prayer and grace.

She must serve her family. Once penetrated with a deep esteem and love for her state, a mother must feel a strong impulse to serve her family. This service will become for her the form of her life, the substance and center of her virtues, the rule of piety set by God for her sanctification.

... a continuous act of self-denial.

giving without reserve

2007-06-13T09:34:00.000-07:00

As Catholics faithful to the Magesterium we probably pride ourselves on fully embracing the Church's teachings on human sexuality. We are blessed with the knowledge of how important and sacred and meaningful it is to give ourselves completely to our spouses... to withold no life-giving love by way of contraception. I wonder sometimes at how easy it is to isolate this teaching solely into the realm of sexuality. In truth, no Catholic teachings exist in a vacuum; all are part and parcel of a holistic understanding of our relationship with our Creator and the role of Faith in this life. Still, fallen as we are, it is so common to not think all the way through some Church teachings in order to see the greater Truth trying to surface in our secular-infected spirituality.

Are we just called to give ourselves completely to our spouses in marital relations? Not by a long shot. We are called to give ourselves completely in EVERY area of our life... in the example of our Savior. I heard a wise priest say something profound during a wedding homily a few weeks ago: Marriage isn't about the "50/50" compromise we hear about so often. It is 100/100.
And not just marriage, but how are we witholding in other areas of our lives? (If the metaphor wasn't so slimy, I'd say "How are you contracepting in other areas?") How about motherhood? God knows I am weak. What does it mean when I am distracted and annoyed and don't feel like I got anything 'done' or any 'me time' in my day, because I was fighting off children all day long. Heaven forgive me! Divine Mercy infuse me! Help me to see my purpose! Help me to die to self! To have a life-giving love in EVERY area of my life!

The long and short of the matter is that God called us to be wives and mothers. This IS HIS WILL. This is where HE wants us to put all of our efforts into glorifying HIM. His most Sacred Heart aches over lukewarm souls most of all. Oh Jesus, what pain I've caused Thee!

If I wake up and simply live with my children, work with my children, play with my children, be in the present with my children... this is all that I need to do. Errands come second. Computer comes second. Chatty phone calls come second. Scrubbing toilets comes second. You get the point. If we started viewing our days as simply moments to give ourselves to our children, I suspect that things would run much smoother. I'm not saying easier... because it's a thorn-filled road no doubt, but our mindsets would be properly disposed. We wouldn't be so prone to haste or anger or frustration when "they" interrupt us. If they are happily playing and are in no need of immediate attention (in fact, private play time is important I think; there is no need to hover)... take a moment to wipe down the counters, make a quick phone call, write a blog entry, process a load of laundry. But always remember what your day is about: loving and living with your children. It's easy to love kids. But sometimes it seems like parents fall into living THEIR OWN lives with their kids simply tagging along as accesories or annoyances.

It's not your life anymore. God is asking more of us. To give all the way. To be saints. Pick up the cross and find holiness the hard way. Indeed, there is no easy way... at least our hard way is littered with beautiful moments of consolation and joy... found in an early morning smile or an unsolicited hug or a hand-picked weed presented to you triumphantly. The Lord is kind in these moments of reprieve during our hard road. Find courage to stay the course.

-Ellie

Patron saint of expectant mothers (among many other things)

2007-06-13T09:18:00.000-07:00

...pray for us St. Anthony! Help us to love the poor as you did and to learn to deprive ourselves of some material comforts for the name of Jesus and love of neighbor.

Here is a prayer for the gift of children:

We salute and honour thee, O powerful helper, St. Anthony! The Christian world confidently turns to thee and experiences thy tender compassion and powerful assistance in so many necessities and sufferings, that we are encouraged in our need to seek thee also United in the bonds of the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, we ask thee to obtain God's blessing in our union so that we may rejoice in the gift of children and bring them up in the fear and love of His holy name. We shall consecrate our little ones to thee, St. Anthony, and place them under thy protection, that thou mayest lead them along the paths of virtue to heaven. Amen.

To all you mothers who have long desired this vocation

2007-06-12T10:09:00.000-07:00

I recently came across an old letter I had written to a friend (Apparently I never sent it!). It was written in the summer of 2004 before my husband and I were married in the fall. In it I expressed a deep peace and a deep joy in my life; that visions I had always had of my life were still beautiful images, but coming closer to becoming real. In my daydreams I would envision little naked babies outside in the sun, in water... laundry on clotheslines, pots of tea and good books, music, little feet and little voices... someone to love and to give my heart to every day. -Sounds corny, but it's all I truly ever wanted. And here I am, amidst that very life I envisioned for so long. Here I am, and the life is, indeed, beautiful! I came across this letter after a rather hectic day. -You know,m one of those days when you are up to your neck in diapers, laundry, tantrums, etc. On top of it all we are potty training our almost-2-yr.-old and so there are little puddles of pee throughout the house where he decided to just go on the floor instead of the potty. (Oh, the challenges of keeping a house fresh and sweet-smelling with a toddler in the house!)

I was so grateful for coming across this letter because it helped me to be grateful for the life I am living. For so long I desired it; now, here I am. May I every day remember the blessing I have been given of children and a husband to love and to to serve; for housework and trials... all which are my little paths to sanctity.

~sia

"must be doing somethin' right"

2007-06-08T13:18:00.001-07:00

On the ride home from a little picnic lunch we had, Leo announces: "I like home, Mama."

After a moment's contemplation, Xavier concurs, "I like home too."

My heart swelled with a surprised sort of love. I hope they always feel this way.

Let's all try to make our homes a place that our children (and husbands, for that matter) love to be.

-Ellie

a juicy contemplation

2007-06-05T08:37:00.000-07:00

Another gem from Gunilla Norris in her book, "Being Home." (On a side note, I enjoy her introductions and prefaces much more than the actual prose in her books... but this is my personal taste. -Ellie)

Prayer and housekeeping-- they go together. They have always gone together. We simply know that our daily round is how we live. When we clean and order our homes, we are somehow also cleaning and ordering ourselves. We know this by virtue of being human creatures. How we hold the simplest of our tasks speaks loudly about how we hold life itself. How then do we "come home" spiritually and dwell there? In my own life I have found no better way than to value and savor the sacredness of daily living, to rely on repetition, that humdrum rhythm, which heals and steadies. Increasingly it is for me a matter of being willing "to be in place," to enter into deeper communion with the objects and actions of a day and to allow them to commune with me.

Could it be any more clear?

2007-06-04T17:08:00.000-07:00

Getting back from a nice vacation that took us through Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Utah and Oregon. We went from snow on the ground to 104 degree heat in just a couple days; we met with old friends and had interesting talks with new people. We were reminded of what a beautiful, diverse world we live in! Anyway a lot of reflection time through this has made a couple things quite obvious to me... most notably that I still have so much to learn.

I love getting knocked off my high horse. So often I think that I have it together... I'm such a well-read advocate of homeschooling, such a pusher of the "embrace your vocation" mantra, such a strong supporter and competent defender of life issues. Then something happens to clear up my rosy lenses: I open up another book or I have a conversation with one more sage than me, or I simply experience an unexpected crisis that teaches me how young my faith really is.

Praise God for doses of humility! I beg to know Him and I beg to go deeper, and I drag my feet and whine the whole time He strips me of my securities, knowledge and worldly ties for the very purpose of preparing my soul for HIS infusion. How can I ask to know, love or serve Him more when I am unwilling to be purged of things toxic to my spirituality?! The irony would be laughable if my salvation wasn't at stake. Placing our hope, confidence and trust in ANYTHING other than Him only disappoints. And isn't the evil one clever to make us think we are being holy and responsible in justifying certain things to us? Being obsessed with the impression you make on others with your important books, perfectly prayerful children, immaculate mini-van, articulate tirades against certain bishops, etc. Using these MEANS of the pilgrimage of life as ENDS. And we pray through tears of frustration to God that ours is a stale, dry spirituality... that we are sorry for going through the motions but don't know how to revive the deadened senses to the Supernatural. "What can I do, Lord?" "Make me thirsty again, Lord!"

But to be still. To do more than lip service. To live the Gospel message every hour of every day. To be gutted of our attachments, our 'noise'. To "sell what we have and give to the poor." To praise Him when people let us down. To be content with trials. To use annoyances and frustrations as another link that can draw us closer to the True Cross. To desire simplicity.

How many of us are willing to do that? How often do we see ourselves as He sees us and are willing to be gutted?

These are the things I'm still learning, and I thank Him for this tiny moment of awakening.

-Ellie, back in the much appreciated northwest corner of Washington.

new little babe!

2007-06-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Ursula, who was listed for expectant mothers in June! She has her new little girl in her arms already. She and her daughter are safe and healthy, as far as we know. Her daughter's name is Bernadette... at birth she was 8 lbs 6 oz, 20 " long. Please pray for Ursula's growing family, as they all learn to adapt to life with 3 children.

Suburban housewives have a woman after their own heart

2007-05-24T12:37:00.000-07:00

I sometimes think the saints had it easy in a way... some of their choices were so crystal clear. I always think that I'd certainly proclaim Jesus Christ as my Savior if faced with imminent death by a firing squad. Martyrdom gives you the black and white choice of Life vs. cowardly betrayal. Seems easy huh? Then while I envision myself on my heavenly cloud ascending brilliantly to heaven for my brave choice, I have another thought: I'd give my life for the name of Jesus... but would I jump into a pit of teeming poisonous spiders for Him? Would I tend to the wounds of an HIV infected person for Him? Would I do simple, annoying things for His glory and without a second thought? So often I do not... I waste my Cross.

Suddenly, I'm scrambling for a parachute as God backhands me off my cloud of glory.

Today is the anniversary of Blessed Mother Teresa's final profession as a Loretto sister. Here is a lovely piece my friend sent to me that really speaks to our own hearts. I especially pondered this thought:

"Sometimes it would be easier to love a beggar dying in the street than the neighbor who growls at my children if a stray ball rolls in their yard."

Again that black and white choice of being IN IT with the poor and destitute of the world seems much more simple and noble than what I'm called to do in my life: smile at the cranky neighbor, pray for the man that cut me off in traffic, change diaper after diaper after diaper and prepare nourishing meals for my hardworking husband.

-Ellie

and even more on gardening

2007-05-22T19:45:00.001-07:00

I'll have all of you know that my thumb is anything but green. I appreciate beautiful gardens and I long to have one myself but I don't know a thing about anything. I don't know about what plants go where or how deep or when to water, fertilize, etc. It's so overwhelming to me that I can look at my little plot of a yard (which is mostly concrete and pea gravel) and feel quite depressed that it's never going to have the glorious foliage adorning it that I'd like. Despite this, I'm determined to do SOMETHING. Last week my husband and I started ripping out some ugly plants and weeds out of our front yard and extended the border or the garden area but pulling up the grass. It felt so darn rewarding when we were finished to see the beautiful brown dirt in between nicely spaced plants (it really was quite overgrown and poorly designed to begin with). And then I picked up a neat little book I've been reading that makes me feel just a wee bit better about NOT being out there weeding and planting and doing what I want in my heart to do. I felt guilty because I feel like a garden is so much WORK. Of couse I want fresh tomatoes and basil and raspberries and lovely flowers bordering our walkway. Who doesn't?! But I get a sinking feeling whenever I think of how much work it involves to maintain a garden. This passage struck me:

A garden tends to get inside us. If we go there to accomplish something or get something, the garden soon becomes a burden. With expectations that it must look good or produce no matter what, we will soon grow tired. The garden is really a place in which we can give ourselves away. This is true of any serious contemplation too. We are transformed by it. We are reduced and revealed by it. In it we may experience a lived sense of our connection to the earth, to our inner freedom, and to the Sacred, the ground of our existence. For me, gardening is a process that invites me to be fully engaged. It is also a constant exercise in letting go since so much happens that is not in my control. Strangely this duality seems to cultivate a joy that embraces impermanence and finds refuge in the invisible... I want to trust that with reverence for place and awareness of my foibles, I can grow to be more present and a better steward of my small corner of the earth. (Gunilla Norris in "A Mystic Garden: Working with soil, Attending to soul")

-Ellie

A book for Spring

2007-05-21T22:05:00.000-07:00

We've just finished planting this year's little vegetable garden... lots of produce to look forward to!

One of our readers just expressed interest in how to get started on her own garden. Whether you live in the city or on land, you can have a garden of some sort. There are a few basics to starting a garden: choose a South-Eastern facing part of the yard; take out the grass and turn it into a vegetable garden by adding fertilizers and more topsoil if needed; start a compost pile with your kitchen scraps, etc. These are just the basics, but everything you need to know is here in this book below. If you're any type of serious gardener, growing flowers or vegetables, I'd like to recommend a great book to have around. Lately I've been reading THE NEW ORGANIC GROWER: A Master's Manual of Tools and Techniques for the Home and Market Gardener, by Eliot Coleman of Four Season's Farm in Harborside, Maine. This book has been a real treat for me to read over my lunch lately. It has always been my reference book whenever spring hits. As one reviewer said, he transforms gardening from a task to a craft, and finally to a 'local science'...

This book is not only an excellent manual but also incredibly motivating! Whenever I read any part of it it just increases my desire to learn more about growing my own food and to get on top of more projects such as growing our own salads all winter long in greenhouses... ah, to have more land!

~sia

more prayers

2007-05-17T15:47:00.000-07:00

We have a couple new additions on our expectant mother prayer list. Please continue to keep them and all mothers in your prayers and forward us the names of anyone who may be expecting that you know. Also I'd direct your attention to Kim due next month. Her family is dealing with a heavy cross already with their 7 year old daughter who has cancer. May the peace of Christ reign in the hearts of those who suffer for Him!

2007-05-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

Today we celebrate the Ascension of the Lord.
Today, I also want to ask our readers to keep a particular family in your prayers; they've been longtime friends of my family; I've grown up with these children in the parish of my childhood. This father of 6 was killed yesterday in a logging accident. His name is Emil; he was a good and gentle man. The family has been preparing for the oldest daughter's wedding. The oldest son is in seminary. The youngest is still in grade school. I ache for the pain they must be feeling and ask that God uses it for the conversion of souls.

St. Isidore

2007-05-15T16:43:00.000-07:00

St. Isidore, pray for us!!

I don't have much experience in the world of farming, but I did spend a solid few years tending an acre of land in Ohio where I grew vegetables and flowers, mulched our fruit trees and built compost piles. I got up every morning to weed and do whatever work there was to do before it got too hot outside. After 2 pm I'd go back outside and work till dusk. All day it was silent, save the sound of the birds, the bees, the distant barking dogs. It was just the earth and myself. I was very in tune with the weather. I always knew when it would rain, when a storm was coming. I can't think of another time in my life when I was more alive, more in-tune with God's voice. I was at peace in my heart, mind and whole being. It was, spiritually, probably the richest time in my life I can remember.

I miss having land to cultivate. However, I am also now a mother of 2 babies and seem to have a lot less time now to devote to anything other than the simple humble, everyday tasks such as cleaning, cooking, laundry, diapers and nursing. I don't think I'd be capable of tending lots of land right now anyway! I have a new path to holiness, which is through my new tasks. However, I still think it very important to get one's hands in the dirt every so often. In Russia, as Catherine Doherty points out, a farmer is called Krestianin. This means "Christian", which fits: a farmer should be the epitome of a Christian. Farmers, Shepherds and such live very close to the natural created world in which there is unique peace-- one which is hard to find amidst our noisy culture of today. I may not be able to be a farmer, but I can try to find those bits of peace and give them to my children through doing little bits of contemplative gardening outside in our little suburban plot of dirt here in our own backyard.

Here, working with what we have, we have taken out the old play structure and replaced it with a large portion of dirt, which is now our vegetable garden. (We can always go to the playground!)We compost all vegetable matter, which I carry out and top with leaves. Currently I have lots of large containers going for this decomposition step, but within a few weeks I hope to "build" a compost pile, using wet matter and dry matter, with the help of the sun. We have wildflowers, herbs and berries bordering the yard and now perennials in large pot containers to cheer up our tiny concrete patio. I'd like to have goats and chickens, too-- just to get our neighbors out of their little suburban comfort zone-- ;)-- but for now this is enough. It is enough to stay in touch with the outdoor world, trying to hear the geese, the birds, the bees in the midst of the deafening silence of Suburbia.

~Sia

Prayer to St. Isidore the Farmer:

Lord God, all creation is yours, and you call us to serve you by caring for the gifts that surround us. May the example of St. Isidore urge us to share our food with the hungry and to work for the salvation of mankind. Amen.

testament to life

2007-05-11T15:33:00.000-07:00

Friday Coffeehouse: Blood Diamond

2007-05-11T12:34:00.000-07:00

Lord, forgive us for all of our offenses against Love! Jesus, have mercy!

Normally I do not watch very violent movies, as I hav trouble with the images and sleeping at night. However, recently a friend recommended the movie Blood Diamond. She is from South Africa and said tht the movie was pretty accurate concerning the social situation over there. She also said that it was filmed near her beautiful home of Mossell Bay.

I was pleasantly surprised for a number of reasons: The acting was excellent. Unlike movies such The Last King of Scotland, this movie did not leave me feeling utterly depressed. It left me saddened by the horrors committed against Love. Saddened by the hatred we have in our world. It left me saddened and grief-struck for the mothers who have to watch such horrors and watch their children exposed to such horrors. But it left me with hope! It witnessed to the fact that Love is indeed amidst the ruins! That Love triumphs over all, that His light is even shining in the darkest of places. It also left me feeling incredibly grateful for the very safe country we are blessed to live in and raise our families in. So often we take this for granted! It also refreshingly did not include any steamy sexual scenes whe it easily could have. The director chose to show two hearts drawn to one another but to leave out any unnecessary steamy scenes. I thought this made the movie all the stronger.

After having seen this movie I am led to ask a question to you all regarding the social and political situation over in SA and in other parts of the world:
How do we, as Catholics, other than of course PRAYER (we can never pray enough!!) respond to these horrors? Which organizations and charities do we suppport?

~Sia

quick pick

2007-05-09T15:54:00.000-07:00

Outstanding. Teresa Tomeo's book "Noise: How our Media-Saturated Culture Dominates Lives and Dismantles Families" is able to articulate what most of us probably sense but don't quite know how to express. I just checked this book out from our local library and am eating up the wonderful quotes in it.

Busy lives and homes filled with 'noise' (via the TV, radio, telephone etc.) wear on our energy levels in such a way that we allow the media to think critically for us.

Most readers here know that you can't trust everything you see or hear in the news. But just what kinds of ramifications do various media outlets have on our thought processes or our family attitudes.

The bottom line in this book is as old as Socrates: "The unexamined life is not worth living." Our highest faculty of our human person is the mind. Reflection is a lost art. We do everything we can to be distracted or entertained. God lives in silence. In silence we find Him. This book is a great tool for living a proactive life rather than a reactive one.

Question of the week (month!)

2007-05-09T15:37:00.000-07:00

Well, we're not doing weekly postings as we used to but we can still have questions for our readers! I'm just curious and so I'm going to throw out to you all a good old Question of the Week:

Do you have bedtime routines? If so, what is your routine? What works for your family?

Our Path to Sanctity

2007-05-08T09:58:00.000-07:00

I cannot stress enough how important it is to remember the fact that our daily crosses, these everyday trials and frustrations, are our path to sanctity!

A little over a year ago I came, in tears, to a good friend/mentor of mine back in Ohio after having been in a fight with my husband. I was emotionally very upset at the time with the various crosses and trials of marriage. She just smiled at me tenderly and said, "See? This is why you are meant to spend the rest of your life with this man! God knew what He was doing. You will become a saint living with him!" It all became so clear at that moment, and has been clear ever since. Marriage isn't all peaches and cream, growing and changing as a family, making a home together, welcoming baby after baby... It isn't the perfect little life, playing house. It's brutally hard and rough. Beautiful and blessed, yes. But easy? No. On the contrary, it is very, very hard to day after day, love each other through thick and thin, through all the frustrating personality clashes and kinks in a relationship. It is hard to be patient with our children. It is hard to turn to prayer in times of frustration and irritablity when all you want to do is throw something across the room. But if we continually turn to prayer, continually humble ourselves and strive for Love, we will indeed become holy. God is working through those in our lives to lead us closer to Him. Every dish we scrub, every diaper we change, every time we get annoyed with someone's ways or personality, it is all opportunity for growth, for further union with our Lord. I remind myself all the time, no matter what the situation, that my call is very, very simple! It is to love God and to love all of those around me. It is serve Him and know Him, to serve and know the Christ in all I meet. It is to give my all to my family, to Him.

~Sia

My case against cell phones

2007-05-03T07:21:00.000-07:00

As a disclaimer, I believe cell phones can serve a good purpose when used in moderation. I had a cell phone when my husband was deployed and I was in and out of town a lot; it was the only way he could get a hold of me. I also think the pay-as-you-go phones are a nice idea for use in case of an emergency on the roadside or other such incidence. Cell phones also are useful for people who's jobs demand it especially if you have your own business and need to separate your home line from your work line. I also want to make it clear that I don't think that everyone who has a cell phone is selfish, ignorant, or wrong. They may be just going the flow with society and some may simply use theirs as something of a convenience, rather than a social lifeline. The majority of my family members have one as well as almost every single one of my friends.

All I know is that there is a certain kind of day to day living that I personally want to experience... and for me, that doesn't involve cell phones. And I think it worth the time to explain why. Now just why on earth WOULDN'T I want a 2 inch, zebra-striped, camera phone strapped to hip wherever I go?! Many reasons:

First and foremost, it's simply one extra bill we DON'T need.

Talking on the cell phone while driving is unsafe to yourself and other drivers, even if you do have one of those ear-pieces. People who are on cell phones while driving rarely realize how badly they're driving by the way... so don't try to sneak out of this accusation! I'd say at least 50% of bad driving we see on the road involves people on their phones. I'm a bad enough driver WITHOUT a phone so I don't need that temptation.

Cell phones can inhibit natural conversations and interactions that would happen in "real life" moments. Standing in the grocery store line, waiting for an airplane, walking around in crowds, etc. You never know what kinds of friendships or moments of grace you're missing out on by talking on the phone.

I LIKE to be unreachable sometimes. When we go on a daytrip or on a hike, we are free from worrying about prosaic concerns until we get home. (Some reasonable people simply turn those phones off and that's fine too.)

I love the shocked looks we get when people find out we don't have a cell phone. That alone makes it worth it.

We never have to worry about embarrasing moments like a Sir-Mix-A-Lot ring-tone sounding loudly during Mass because we forgot to turn it off.

The number one reason I dislike cell phones is that they take people out of the NOW. If I'm chatting with a friend and her phone rings and she answers it and yik-yaks for a couple minutes... this message is that she can't fully commit to me at that time, even if her heart is in the right place. We have so many things in society begging for our attention. We're taught the skill and efficiancy of multi-tasking. It's so rare to just BE where you are and present with the planned and chance encounters that are happening in the 3-D world here. Even if we are physically present with our family and friends, we are called away mentally by various phone calls that eat up our time. Same goes for "texting." I have a friend who has a cell phone, but I didn't discover this until a year after knowing her. (Speaks volumes, doesn't it?) She's never given me that number and I've had sense enough not to ask. They use it for emergency situations and pay as they go. Bravo.

I don't think the average person NEEDS a cell phone. But 49% of people say they couldn't live without it. Sure it's a great convenience. I know because I've had one, and when you are a regular cell phone user you almost always think it's necessary and you probably think you use it prudently (which may or may not be true). And I thought life would be incredibly difficult and inconvenient without one. But it's not! It's so liberating! It would be nice, sometimes to call my husband when I need him to get one more thing I forgot to tell him at the grocery store. And it would be nice when we're in crowds trying to meet up somewhere (we actually have old fashioned walkie-talkies for just such occasions!). But the freedom knowing that I'm not tempted to take away from the people and situations that I want to fully devote myself to is worth all the inconveniences. I imagine it's like quitting tobacco; there will be some withdrawals at first. But my husband and I are well into our second year without a cell phone and we are more and more thankful that we DON'T have one.

What about all those people who tell me they have one for emergencies? Well, I think there's still something to be said about good old trust in mankind. We've stopped a couple times to help out broken-down motorists on the side of the road, only for them to tell us that they've already made a call and help is on the way. If I broke down without my husband, I suppose the thought of flagging down a passing car is abhorrent to some people. "It's unsafe. You never know what kind of people will stop!" Well, I say that I'm providing opportunities for boy-scout values that cell phones prevent nowadays. There are good people in the world who would love to feel "needed" and helpful to you. There's something to be said for prudence, but I don't think it's in any way irresponsible to NOT have a cell phone. I think it opens the doors for something that seems to be a lost art: brotherly love. Sometimes we have to step outside of worldly values (caution, self-reliance, independence) in order to have faith in mankind and trust in the providence of God.

And that is why I don't have a cell phone.

-Ellie

question for you

2007-05-02T09:18:00.000-07:00

One reader wrote in asking for ideas on how women can earn money from home while still keeping her kids the first priority. What are your ideas?

May: the month of Mary

2007-05-02T08:18:00.000-07:00

It is the month of Mary now. I love this month... time to plant gardens, spend more time outdoors, and, in a special way, honor Mary our Mother. How fitting, that it is a season of new growth and blossoms. Mary is a perfect example to we mothers of gracefulness, femininity, gentle and loving ways. Our vocation demands these ways of holiness. May she take our hands and lead us closer to our Lord... May we outstretch our hands with a total openness, a total fiat, a spirit of humility and desire for holiness.

I love having different liturgical times, feast days and seasons to encourage and motivate me to pick up new devotions or spiritual steps, and this month is perfect encouragement to focus on growing in our communion with Mary. There are a few wonderful prayers to her on our prayer page, and then there is also of course the Litany of Mary, a wonderful way to meditate on Mary's different roles in our lives through her various titles, and of course the Rosary, which is a wonderful meditation on the life of Christ and her fiat.

"This is the month of Mary, mother of God... Why not begin a journey inward to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, to learn from her the secret of the king, her Son- the secret that would change our lives, and with them that of the world, the secret infinite charity, of God's peace, and Mary's joy--the secret and art of being before God and doing for God? ...The woman who spent her time on earth cloaked in silence is speaking to us today from Lourdes, Fatima, and many other places. If only we took time to listen and to ponder her words, ours would be a century of peace, ours would be lives of joy."

Sia

St. Joseph the Worker

2007-05-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

Christ the Lord allowed Himself to be considered the son of a carpenter: come, let us adore Him, Alleluia!
-- Invitiatory Antiphon for Saint Joseph the Worker day

Come to Joseph! Come to gentle, humble St. Joseph. Lets pray to him for our husbands, that they will always be good providers, hard workers and faithful husbands, as Joseph was.
Go to Catholic Culture's site to read more about this feast and for ideas on cooking, activities and such. He is such a powerful patron for families.

reader idea

2007-04-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

Dear reader, Stephanie in Utah offered a great idea:

Do you find yourself struggling to stay focused in your housework or to be attentive to your children because of constant telephone interruptions? If you're anything like me, a phone call throws things off since it takes me a while to get myself back on track even after the call is over. I don't personally have too many phone calls during the day but I don't feel bad about not answering the phone sometimes. Steph is considering having her phone off all day and setting aside a specific time a couple times a day to simply check her messages, at HER convenience. It's interesting how our society always places phone calls as a top priority. Have you ever noticed how if you're being helped at a customer service desk and the phone rings, they almost always immediately answer it? Some have the courtesy to ask the callers to hold, but others simply ask YOU to wait and tend to the call. Maybe its the urgency or annoyance of the ringing that we feel the need to tend to immediately. At any rate, I've made it a priority in MY home, not to let the phone dictate the day. I don't answer it during quiet or napping hours. And we don't answer it during our meals. This is enough for us to have a controlled day. But some of you may have in-home businesses or such where you may need to regulate your phone time even more than that. All I can say is do what you need to do! Ask yourself what kind of atmosphere you want in the home and do what it takes to cultivate that. Stay tuned for my feelings on cell phones! ;o)

-Ellie

stay the course

2007-04-30T06:57:00.000-07:00

Don't get too discouraged when you are disciplining a strong-willed child. I know it sometimes feels like your efforts in vain. Some kids are just plain tough! The parents can be on them for every infraction and consistent every day but the child might just persist in naughty ways.

Please don't give up! One good thought I read in a James Stenson book is this:

By enduring through tough discipline stages, you are setting your child up for his/her future. A lazy, inconsiderate or angry boy will grow up to be a lazy, inconsiderate angry man. If those traits aren't corrected now, this man's wife will have to put up with them... and their marriage might not be able to take that strain. And divorce happens. And the woman wins custody of YOUR grandkids and moves across the country with only "2 weeks in the summer" visitation rights.

We are raising children. But we are also raising future adults... setting the foundations for strong marriages or spiritual vocations. People you've never met are praying that YOU are raising THEIR children's future spouses properly... I am. The impact of the "tough days" we go through now is long lasting. Stay the course. Love with a firm and gentle hand to the best of your ability, then surrender the rest to God.

-Ellie

St. Mark the Evangelist

2007-04-25T13:08:00.000-07:00

Today we celebrate St. Mark who wrote the shortest of the four Gospels. Today's Collect reading is as follows:

Father, you gave St. Mark the privilege of proclaiming your Gospel. May we profit by his wisdom and follow Christ more faithfully. Grant this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

More than a trite phrase: Support our Troops

2007-04-24T20:11:00.000-07:00

With the ongoing war, it's so easy to grow apathetic to the fact that men and women are risking their lives every single hour in Iraq and Afghanistan. Many of us have the cute yellow ribbon magnets on the car: "Support our Troops." What are we actually doing to walk our talk?!

Please consider supporting Soldiers' Angels... a non-profit group that is doing everything they can to make sure no soldier goes unloved. Many don't have wives or families to receive letters and care packages from... and these are the things that do more than ANYTHING else to boost morale. And anyone who knows anything about military warfare knows that troop morale is essential to efficient operations and well-thought-out choices on and off duty. Through this website you can adopt a soldier to correspond with and/or contribute packages in a material/monetary way. My close friend works with this group and she's testified to me all the great things they are doing. It also links to many other websites that are doing good things. Just two of note are the following:

Operation Take a Vet Fishing. This is a basic website designed where ANYONE, anywhere in the US can offer to spend time taking a veteran fishing. A simple gesture that may make a world of difference in letting our veterans know they are loved and appreciated.

Sew Much Comfort. This group makes adaptive clothing for servicemembers who've lost a limb or who need to be in some kind of brace or prosthetic due to war-related injuries. You can sign up to be a volunteer seamstress or help the financial costs related to buying fabric and sewing supplies.

Please don't forget what our servicemembers our doing right now! However you feel about the war is irrelevant in supporting THEM as individuals.

St. George and fairy tales

2007-04-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

Today is the feast day of St. George; all that we know for sure was that he was a soldier and a martyr. But there are many legends that are fun to entertain about him, especially his slaying of a dragon. We've honored this day by checking out a book called St. George and the Dragon by Margaret Hodges. Don't expect a particularly pious rendition of George's story, but this is a fairy tale in it's finest complete with lovely vocabulary and gorgeous illustrations. Never underestimate the greatness of fairy tales! (On that note, Andrew Lang has compiled some of the finest if you need a recommendation; his "colored" fairy tale books are wonderful!) They are traditionally filled with accurate conceptions of Good and Evil and help to foster appreciation for the virtues of nobility, honor and truth.

St. George pray for us!

Anxiety. Haste. Stress.

2007-04-21T13:36:00.000-07:00

All too often I'm reminded of how immature my faith truly is. What are the symptoms of a lack of faith or an immature faith? Anxiety, haste and stress. Ever feel those things? As mothers and as human beings it is natural to experience these sentiments. There is nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is when we submit to those feelings and allow them to overcome us and consume our thoughts. My husband was recently diagnosed with a chronic disease. Chances are pretty good that he is going to be medically boarded out of the Navy in six months. He is one who had his whole career in front of him if he wanted... making rank at impressive speed, his command's "golden boy." There was nothing he couldn't accomplish. And now the military is basically going to say "You're not any good to us anymore since we can't deploy you." So that life is coming to a crashing halt. Don't bother with comments of condolences or anything. We are both thankful for God's will.

I think at any other time in my life, I would be sick with worry and fear about finding a job and paying the mortgage and where we'll be when this all comes into fruition. But it's like an out-of-body experience I've been living; I watch myself, entirely delighted, as I don't feel any sense of fear or stress about this situation. This is so liberating! And it makes me realize that my faith is growing... and how far I still have to go. It wouldn't be right for me to give lip service to the Almighty while my stress is essentially telling Him that I don't trust Him and that I will be taking this into my own hands thankyouverymuch!

"Difficult graces of trial of faith often involving suffering, should be accepted by us with the awareness of the closeness of Christ. We should accept them with the belief that He will be victorious, that after Good Friday, Resurrection Sunday will come. There should be an unshaken faith within us, that He who is peace, power, joy, and the Resurrection, is with us even more so during our trials and suffering. Living by the present moment, sanctifying it as a moment of grace, is an expression of the dynamism of our faith and of our fight with the temptations of anxiety, haste and stress: 'Surrender yourself totally into the hands of the Merciful Providence, that is into the hands of the Immaculate, and be at peace,' wrote St. Maximillian to one of the brothers in the convent. Live as if this were your last day. Tomorrow is uncertain, yesterday does not belong to you, only today is yours. God does not want you to look back because then, most often, you succumb to those temptations of anxiety, haste and stress."

-Fr. Tadeusz Dajczer in "The Gift of Faith."

-Ellie: Oak Harbor, WA

What's YOUR false god?

2007-04-17T21:55:00.000-07:00

One of my biggest struggles is moderating my time on our computer. While we are doing some work on our back rooms, we have this machine in our front living room which makes it a very prominent presence in my life.

I know I'm not the only one out there who spends too much time online. And it may be with the best of intentions. We research things, e-mail people, shop, get involved with various message boards or blogs etc. There's a lot to distract ourselves with!

I'm never one to spend hours at a time in front of the monitor but the big problem is when I get on for 5 minutes here or 10 minutes there all throughout the day.

My solution, when I am diligent to follow it, has been a godsend on my family life. You wouldn't think 5 or 10 minute intervals would disrupt things much until you actually go a day without it... and notice how much time you have to fold clothes or read a story book. Funny how that works. Anyway, since my mind is always zooming with a million things, I often think of things "to do" online whether it's research or e-mail or pay bills or whatever. And so I keep a little pad of paper by the computer and whenever I have an urge to go look something up, I just make a quick note of it. I allow myself less than an hour to do everything I need to do and then I shut the modem off, turn the computer off and that's the end of it. I see a HUGE difference in the orderliness of my days when I am strict about my schedule with the computer. I don't let IT run my day. But having little notes relieves me of the stress of trying to remember what it is I got online for in the first place... so I don't get TOO distracted until I take care of business first. This has been what my goal is anyway. (You may notice I'm posting this at 10 pm tonight so obviously today has been an off-day but the key word is "try.")

Moderation is an underestimated virture. The saints agree with me.

"Preocupation with sensual comforts is another block to devotion, because a person who indulges too much in worldly delights does not deserve those of the Holy Spirit." -St. Peter of Alcantara

-Ellie

hooray...

2007-04-16T10:56:00.000-07:00

... for updated pages! All of our profiles are updated. So is our booklist and diaper page. Don't forget to check out our children's booklist; I am always thankful for good resource lists on kids books especially. There is even a link on that page where all the authors are listed alphabetically so you can have an easy print-out to take to the library with you.

I also put a perma-link on our sidebar to Hope's CD which you can purchase. It's awesome!

Growing the Good

2007-04-13T08:41:00.000-07:00

I have pride and I have anger. And I sometimes feel inclined to do what many other mothers do by putting on a mask of competance and benevolence in public in order to hide these negative qualities in myself. The devil rationalizes this to us, helping us think that what we are doing is for the greater good or necessary. And I admit that sometimes it's a good thing when one of my boys does something very unruly in public that I don't shout at him or spank his bottom-- it gives me pause to think and calm down in my own mind so I can approach the child in a peaceful way, not in a reaction to my anger. But this is all done to keep up the appearance of being a good mother to others. I want others to look favorably on me; I seek their approval. What a shame. The danger in putting on this mask in public... though sometimes beneficial in immediate dealings... is that it helps us to ignore the roots of the problem. Pride and Anger-- the bedfellows that are the most dangerous obstacles to parenting. Only when we really humble ourselves and pray to purge ourselves of these defects can we really begin to cultivate the good in our children.

Oftentimes we fall into the trap of thinking that raising kids is simply a matter of correcting their faults and disciplining their bad choices... as if their "natural good" will spring through if we are busy cutting down the bad weeds. This is a grave error. Children have original sin like the rest of us... you will constantly be chopping down their sinful weeds because they will always be there.

The way to truly nourish their goodness-- their wholeness of character-- is by cultivating the good inside of them. Make the ground fertile for this good to grow by focusing on it and tending to it and investing your energy in developing it. The way to build the character of a child in a manner worthy of the dignity Christ instilled in him is to cultivate the good, not vainly trying to destroy the evil. Of course, this doesn't mean being totally lax with your child or ignoring their faults (another form of abuse in my opinion!) but to only take naughtiness in proportion to the whole soul with which you've been entrusted. To really spend time enjoying your children, learning with them, loving them and encouraging the growth of the beauty, skills and "goodness" God has given them.

Doing this will not only produce beautiful "plants" (i.e. souls), but it will achieve the dual purpose in humbling us as mothers and avoiding our own sinful tendencies to rule over the children with pride and squashing badness with anger.

-Ellie

New Little Babe!

2007-04-12T12:25:00.000-07:00

You may notice a name removed from our expectant mother list. April has given birth to her newest daughter... her name is Cecilia Alice. She was born on Easter Sunday at 7:20... an Easter babe who was almost born in the car! (Don't we all love the drama?)We thank you all for your prayers. She had a safe delivery and the baby is doing well. April is in the middle of moving, so hopefully she'll be able to get in a good rest despite the conditions of life right now. Please keep April's family in your prayers for a good recovery and transition.

~Sia

"Let me think about it."

2007-04-09T11:37:00.000-07:00

A thought in between laundry loads:

I'll say upfront that I've learned this the hard way and in no way am I a parenting expert but it's lately occured to me how much precision and thought can be put into the phrase "I'll think about it." Whatever your disciplining method may be, I think the one thing we can all agree on is that a parent needs to establish his/her role as one of authority. No good can come of waffling on our decisions and we ALL know how unattractive a whining incident can be. How do we cure whining? By making our "Yes" mean yes -- our "No" mean no. Period.

Instilling the virture of obedience in our children is one of the very FIRST tasks with which we need to be concerned. This isn't for the feint of heart. There have been too many times when I want to get back to my book or back to my conversation with a friend and a begging child knows this, takes advantage of my exasperation, and begs for something or some privilege until I get so sick of hearing about it that I say "Fine!" And with that single word, I relinquish my authority. The child learns that he can get what he wants by simply persisting in the whine long enough until I break.

We need to be very diligent about choosing our words. If you don't want your child to do something, say no... and be prepared with a reason. This helps down the road when you forbid something and get stuck with the less-than-impressive cop-out "... because I'm the mom, that's why!"

And since I am sometimes overstimulated with things demanding my time or attention, I've learned to utilize the phrase "Let me think about it," in order to not be pressured into a quick or thoughtless decision. Whenever I have the presence of mind to say this, my kids have learned that I am giving careful consideration to what they are requesting (and hence, showing THEM respect) and they'll keep quiet about it for a while. In the meantime, it's up to us to actually take the time to think about it. And decide whether or not you want to allow what they are asking and reflect on your reasons why. Even when I do decide on a "No" answer, I am always careful to praise the child for asking politely (if he does so) so he doesn't receive a completely negative response.

When you state your YES or your NO, be prepared to stick with it. And do not react to the whining or begging that will initially ensue until they come to recognize your new tactics. Children can't be learning that crying, screaming or hitting will change your answer. When your word gets passed down to them, they'll respect it and recognize that you don't make arbitrary decisions.... simply by buying yourself a little time with a little phrase.

-Ellie

Hot Cross Buns

2007-04-06T07:59:00.000-07:00

Hot Cross Buns are usually thought to be a Good Friday tradition... the cross on top symbolizes the Crucifixion, but I always remember my mom making them on Easter Sunday for a quick breakfast before the early Mass. There are several recipes online you can use. I'll be making ours this Sunday with dried cranberries instead of the traditional raisins. The recipe I really like was made for a bread machine; I don't have one of those so I have a slight variation on the directions here. Don't let the length discourage you; these are worth your effort!

INGREDIENTS
3/4 cup warm water
3 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon instant powdered milk
1/4 cup white sugar
3/8 teaspoon salt
1 egg
1 egg white
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon yeast
3/4 cup dried raisins/cranberries
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

(Egg Wash)
1 egg yolk
2 tablespoons water

(Icing)
1/2 cup confectioners' sugar
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 teaspoons milk

DIRECTIONS
Mix the yeast, 1 cup flour, sugar, salt, and other spices in a bowl. In a separate bowl, mix the milk and water together. Combine the dry ingredients mixture, the liquid ingredients, and the butter in a large bowl. Beat for 2 to 3 minutes at medium speed. Add the egg and beat 1 more minute. Stir in the raisins, fruit, and enough of the remaining flour to make a firm dough. Knead the dough on a floured surface for about 5 to 7 minutes or until smooth and elastic. Use additional flour if necessary. Place in a lightly greased bowl; turn over to grease the other side of the dough. Cover and let rise in a warm place. After about 15 minutes, test the dough to see if it has risen sufficiently and is ready to be shaped. To test, gently stick two fingers into the risen dough up to the second knuckle... take them out. If the indentations remain, the dough is ready.

Divide the dough into 12 pieces. Shape the pieces into balls and place them 3 inches apart on a lightly greased baking sheet. Cover and let rise in warm place until almost doubled, about 45 minutes to an hour. Mix water and egg for the shine and brush on top of each roll. Bake in a preheated oven at 375º for 15 to 18 minutes, or until light brown on top. Remove from the oven. Place the baking sheet full of buns on a wire rack to cool. Prepare the glaze, then spread it over the warm buns. Let the buns continue to cool on the baking sheet. When completely cool, fill a cake decorating bag, fitted with a round tip, with icing. Pipe an icing cross on each bun. Or... simply spoon narrow stips of icing, in the shape of a cross, on each bun.

-Ellie

"Here I come kiddies, with lots of chocolate!!!"

2007-04-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

Does your family do the whole Easter Bunny schpeel?

Do not be afraid

2007-04-05T07:53:00.000-07:00

I think a lot about this fearing the Lord- what does it mean? Fearing to hurt him is what I have heard and most of the time what I settle on... I would love to hear what our readers think of this gift from the holy spirit.

But most of the time when I find myself lying awake at night fearing, it is not of our loving Father but of his Arch-enemy, and his legions of fallen angels that are out to destroy our families, our children, our souls. I have been reading about Padre Pio- and loving him as I never have before. His spirituality both comforts me- because of his words and holiness, and kind of scares me- because he was so in tune with suffering, and I am not. Since childhood, he had frequent battles with the devil- even physical ones- and it is my opinion that he knew the devil better than any man of our times. However he spoke of the devil in a way that comforted me... he said do not be afraid of him, he is like a vicious growling dog or beast but on a short chain. He has only one door to us, and that is our will. He cannot come in without permission.

In addition though, he said that the devil is loud when he is unhappy with you, and the devil is quiet when he has you where he wants you. I don't feel like he is very loud in my life right now, but I hope that means he has given up and left me alone for the time... but it might mean that my habitual sins do enough damage that he is happy with my lack of spiritual progress.

That being said, I have been praying lately for protection. A recent conversation inspired me to daily pray for the Blessed Mother's protection- on myself, my husband, my children. She can hide us in her mantle, and clothe us in armor so shining and bright that it repels every creature of the darkness, even the prince himself.

-Hope writes from Fillmore, CA

From the desire of being esteemed, deliver me Jesus.

2007-04-03T14:22:00.000-07:00

After nearly a year of regular posting, we are shifting gears here at Coffee and Diapers. We are going to put this blog on the backseat of our attentions and post only when drawn to a reflection or thought through the course of our regular mothering lives. Hope, Sia and Ellie all have things going on, as do the rest of you, and we're beginning to realize that we've sometimes pushed out posts like cans of soup just to have something new each day. We'd rather not sacrifice the quality of what we do by forcing ourselves to think of something clever for Mondays or something interesting for Fridays. We understand that many of our regular readers will leave us altogether; this is the nature of the blogging beast. If you don't stay current, you lose your crowd. But we aren't here to "save our readers" so much as we are here to "save our children" and our families first. It's time to step back and live the life our Blessed Mother lived... one that is hidden and holy in the shadows of the Cross. We still plan on using this space as a place of reflection and practical tips. But we are giving up on trying to be on the ball all the time. We don't pretend to be holy or interesting enough to supply our readers with juicy thoughts every day. We also want to avoid any growing sense of false piety or self-importance that is almost inevitable in the blogging world and stay true to the purpose with which we originated: inspiring and encouraging women in their vocations. We are just simple moms, dealing with groceries, diapers and temper tantrums like the rest of you. But we are trying to deepen our OWN spirituality, and if this blog is cause for us to neglect that... no matter how lofty our "mission"... we have failed.

For those readers who do stay the course with us, remember that there are plenty of archives to browse at the bottom of this page, as well as many other great blogs out there to read. We also want to encourage you, once again, to send us any of your own thoughts or ideas for us to consider sharing with our readers. Thank you so much and we wish you very happy mothering...

True merit, like a river, the deeper it is, the less noise it makes.

-Edward Frederick Halifax

they're not so far away...

2007-04-02T06:55:00.000-07:00

One of the most damaging views people can have of saints is that they are dressed up, transcendental legends that are so far removed from our day to day lives. I wonder, how eerily and ironically the evil one works sometimes in the way he can weasel into our thoughts so that we THINK we have the right perceptions. One example is what I always call "pride in reverse", that being people who think they aren't good enough for God's love or aren't worthy enough for His mercy. To think that we could possibly sin bigger than what Christ's sufferings covered!! It's hogwash... or more articulately, it's the devil trying to tell us discouraging things to separate us from His UNDYING and ever attainable Love.

At any rate, it's occured to me that the devil may have even a hand in the way saints are portrayed. Of course they should be seen as notable people, worthy of emulating. But they should never be sugar-coated to the point where we imagine them as too perfect to be relevant to our sinful world. This is one of the reasons, Sia has always encouraged me to use alternative images or icons of the saints in our posts; the traditional images associated with many saints are often so syrupy-romantic that it is important to see different perspectives so we don't get stuck thinking they are so unreachable! Look at the picture at the top of the post compared to this one and consider which image, of the same man, is more relevant to you. The greatest infraction of sugar-coating is committed against Our Blessed Mother Mary. We see how distinct and exalted she is, so it seems impossible that we could ever follow in her footsteps... which lead us closer to Christ than anyone else can.

Robert Louis Stevenson nailed it when he simply said, "Saints are sinners who keep on trying." The men and women we've read about from our youngest years were human like you and me. They had annoying things to deal with and problems and sins to combat of their own. What makes them different? Their undying commitment to conform their lives to the will of God. It's that simple. Yet, this simple path is littered with all kind of confusion and trials that cause us to second guess ourselves. Details are so minor! The goal of this post is to inspire you to sainthood. It's not unreachable. It's what we are called to. So get on it! Go deeper.

"There is only one important, serious reality worth living for, that is God and His will." - Fr. Tadeusz Dajczer

-Ellie

Prayers

2007-03-30T08:45:00.000-07:00

Two new babies have been born, Michael Joseph on March 24th, and Liam Seamus on March 25th. Please keep both in your prayers, especially Liam who was born with many complications. He and mother struggled intensely and the baby is now being given a two-week assessment for brain damage or other disabilities. God be with all!

The Rhythm of Prayer

2007-03-30T07:48:00.000-07:00

In Luke 18:1, Christ tells us to "pray always and never lose heart." What does it mean for a busy mother to pray always? Well, it's typically understood that with a morning consecration... you are offering up your words, actions, and trials during the day as living prayers to Christ. This is a wonderful practice! And with this, you are praying all day long, just by living your life for the glory of Him.

But can we go deeper? Oftentimes we say or think that we "don't have time for prayer." And I'd wager that oftentimes, it's the devil himself that puts those thoughts in our head... even in the most gentle ways of "Well, I need to get groceries and do the laundry and pay the bills." But, we let time own us; the reality isn't that we don't "have time"... it's that we don't "make time." This is why it's so important to establish a routine of prayer time throughout your day. Say the Angelus at noon, and the Divine Mercy Chaplet at three. Set your alarm clock on your watch or cell phone if you need to. Say a simple prayer whenever you hear a clock strike the hour... just a simple reminder to yourself that our entire day should be ordered to sanctification and the glory of Christ.

Some people don't like the idea of scheduled prayer. They think it ruins the spontaniety of communicating with God... that it becomes routinized and thus, mundane. But the reality is just the opposite! While we should communicate with our Divine Lover every time we think of it, we should also establish concrete times of day to make a date with Him. Prayer rhythms throughout the day are very liberating because they become like an old familiar friend... something you can approach with ease and comfort because you expect it and know it well.

I guarantee you that you can find 101 different excuses on why you don't have routine prayer in your life. But He is waiting for you... He is calling you to make Him the central God in your life... not a subordinate god to the errands or lunches or dishes. Of course, as mothers, our vocation doesn't allow for us to spend all day on our knees in prayer... and our domestic obligations are good and holy in themselves.

But go deeper. Make the most of those 4 minutes you spend alone in the utility room, processing laundry loads. Consider waking a bit earlier to start the day off *right* with prayer time. I've found that if my little ones wake up too early with me, I can usually sneak some prayers in while they are watching Mr. Rogers or eating their breakfast. Pray while waiting in the grocery checkout line. At every traffic signal you hit, say a little prayer. Use the spontaneous one-liners often: "Jesus, I am weak and I need You." "Blessed Mother help me to be more like you." "Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me and on the whole world." "St. Joseph pray for my family." "I love you Jesus." "Jesus I trust in You." Simple powerful prayers sanctify our day.

Finally, don't be too discouraged by your lack of originality in your spontaneous prayer. According to St. Peter Julian Eymard, while reading or reciting familiar prayers is greatly edifying, even the most sublime prayer is inferior to your own words and thoughts if given to The Father with great sincerity. He wants you to come to Him like a little child... entirely trusting in His goodness and mercy.

-Ellie: Oak Harbor, WA

Flower Gardening

2007-03-29T07:02:00.000-07:00

"Flower gardeners spend their time growing beauty, which the Lord can then use to heal people and bring them closer to Him. Each flower is a love poem of God to us! Each reflects a small part of God's beauty. Look at each one and you will lose yourself in the infinite perfection of that one flower-- it's colors, it's forms, the shape of the petals." ~Catherine Doherty, from The People of the Towel and the Water.

This is how I feel about my son and my coming child. I am cultivating the life of beautiful little human beings. As a mother, I am flower gardening for God! I am growing flowers and hoping that each one will turn their faces to the sun and soak up all the sunshine that is there for their growth. My children's sunshine is the love of God and the love of their parents; it is the food I feed them; it is my own milk; more sunshine will be the graces they will receive from the Sacraments of the Church. Their fertile soil is the solid home my husband and I work hard to provide, preserve and cultivate. It is the love in the home which we surround them with.

"Many hermits and saints have spent some of their love life for God planting and tending flowers-- making their desert bloom. A hermitage without flowers is not the dwelling of God. Wherever the Benedictines and Franciscans walked, they left behind them hermitages with flowers. A house without flowers is dead. To state it simply: where there is a loving heart in a home, there is someone who devotes himself or herself to flower gardens." ~Catherine Doherty, from The People of the Towel and the Water

Let us, as mothers, consider ourselves flower gardeners!

~Sia

Question of the Week: the non-marrieds

2007-03-28T07:54:00.000-07:00

Scenario: You have a close sibling who has fallen away from the church. She has been living with her boyfriend for several years and they even have a baby together. Playing house to the T. Your kids are young enough to basically assume they are a "traditional" family. When they come to visit you, do you allow the little family to sleep together or do you insist on separate bedrooms which in theory, protects your kids from scandal but it also insults the family?

Working Inside the Home

2007-03-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

There seems to be a big deal made about little jobs women can get "working from the home." A lot of mothers I know love the flexibility offered with jobs as a consultant for one of the many Avon to Pampered Chef type companies or doing medical transcription work, freelance writing or other such job. I myself, get a small salary as a teaching assistant for Mother of Divine Grace where I spend some time on the phone with students, editing papers and grading work submitted to me.

But I think there is a disturbing trend for some women to make this type of employment a substitute for working OUTSIDE the home frequently. As if the idea of a part-time job is so disdainful for us mothers who pride ourselves on being stay at home mothers. But the time I spend on the phone and grading papers is time away from my family; I'm not mentally present for them at that time. If we needed a financial boost, I would not consider taking on more students over working outside the house. In a way, it's a delicate trade-off. When I'm home, I want to be IN it; I want to be engaged and present for the needs of the family. That's why I try to do my schoolwork and computer work in the early morning when the kids are asleep and husband is at work. Sometimes, I find an opportune moment to do these things at other times during the day, but it almost never happens during the time my husband is home in the evenings. It wouldn't be fair to him.

If for some reason, I needed more work, I would consider doing it outside the home rather than IN the home. Simply because I think it would be more rational to put in a few hours on the evenings or weekends for a business than to take that many hours away from my family. It's kind of a mixed signal you are sending your children. "I'm here. I'm being a good, responsible mother by being a 'stay-at-home' mom... but don't bug me right now because I have to put these Mary Kay orders in. Or I have a deadline to meet with this editor." It's rough! That's why women who work in the home face a set of challenges separate from women who work outside the home... and one isn't necessarily the more 'moral' choice than the other.

Of course, it can be done with grace and generousity and flexibility. I mean, I technically work, and so do many of my friends. But it's not easy! And I've battled with it from time to time because it CAN detract from the family, if not properly organized. (I've struggled this same beast before when I finished my BA degree online: it almost would have been better to be physically IN the classes!) So don't be fooled into thinking that this is the cure to all your financial woes. In or out of the home, a woman must always be able to put her primary vocation first... that is the one with the biggest payoff anyway!

-Ellie, Oak Harbor

Quick Tip

2007-03-26T08:16:00.000-07:00

I've learned so much from my kids; their imaginations delight me almost every day. All kids do imaginative things and it's so much fun to learn THEIR ideas and talk about them. I think it helps parents set up living environments in their homes that is conducive to imaginative play learning. This is why I love having basic toys, with endless possiblities around the home (blocks, dress up clothes or fabrics, legos, etc.)

Anyway, our kids are improvisers when they don't have every bell and whistle on their toys playing FOR them. My husband just replaced our chintzy back door in the garage with a steel door. The old, hollow wooden door was leaning outside against the house. The kids had smashed the glass window out, so we took the whole glass pane out so it was like an open window. The window on this door had soft, white curtains on the inside. So the other day my husband came grinning into the house. They had taken all their soccer balls or basketballs and lined them up in front of the door like an audience. Then the boys were behind the door with their puppets putting on a show! They'd created their own free version of those hundred dollar puppet theatres you can buy. So my husband is going to chop the door shorter and paint it and put supporting stands on it and there you have it!

Bottom line, have an interesting house! Have an interesting variety of materials and objects for the kids to discover. We recently bought a bunch of PVC pipes and joints and the boys are having a blast making all kinds of shapes and figures with those things. Good play material doesn't need to be expensive!

-Ellie

Making Do on Mondays: buying organic

2007-03-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

Do you buy organic produce? For most of us, the deterrent is price difference, but I came upon this list of the most important foods to buy organic, because they are the most heavily sprayed with pesticides... thought I would share.

Suggested 12 foods to buy ORGANIC:

Apples
Cherries
Grapes, imported
Nectarines
Peaches
Pears
Raspberries
Strawberries
Bell peppers
Celery
Potatoes
Spinach

I think if you can't go organic on everything- it's good to know which to try for.

-Hope

Friday Coffeehouse: Donna Marie Cooper-O'Boyle

2007-03-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

One author Catholic moms might (or should) know about is Donna Marie Cooper O'Boyle who has two books out and another being released next month. As a Lay Missionary of Charity and award winning writer, Donna Marie knew Blessed Mother Teresa and received her encouragement and blessings on her work:

The Catholic Prayer Book for Mothers is a small, sturdy bestseller that is ideal for tucking into your purse or diaper bag. It's composed of both traditional and original prayers. The thing I like about this book is that it's design allows for it to be an understated and effective tool for evangelization... not a self-righteous fishing line for the admiration of others. There's something lovely about the idea of just pulling a prayer book out in the doctor's waiting room rather than reaching for People magazine. This book would be great to tuck into a baby shower gift as well.

The Heart of Motherhood is her second release and don't be fooled by it's soft, pretty cover; this book at times packs a powerful punch! One of my favorite lines in the book is so quirky that one might easily miss out on the depth of the statement. I wonder if the author meant for it to sound as simple as planning for a weekend sightseeing itinerary. She's referring to the need for a mother's consistent love and presence in a child's life: "This presence is crucial, so do try to plan your life accordingly." Throughout the book, which reads like a long but notable and worthy sermon, there are parts which seem kind of basic to the conscientious readers of this blog-- such as the need for physical affection for example. But this only serves to widen the base of appeal for this book. It would be perfect in the hands of those like us, who need the encouragement like our Blessed Mother who "helps us to run from the temptation of mediocrity and compromises," as well as those new moms or mothers who've not been exposed to the positive message about the great dignity of our vocation. Donna Marie discusses the world's very real need for model families. How true is that! Our society desperately needs the example of courageous women who show that they find JOY in their vocation... even the nitty gritty of it. And the example of women who don't just tolerate kids as part of their life but who truly delight in their blessings from God.

Lastly, I can't wait to see her newest book "Prayerfully Expecting: A Nine-Month Novena for Mothers-To-Be." There are a hundred and one "What to expect when you're expecting" type books out there; how refreshing to see one focused on the spiritual aspect of pregnancy! Instead of dwelling on the aches and cravings of your body, women can focus on using this special time as a living prayer to unite themselves to Christ. While I can't comment yet on this book's content, I suspect that is the exact direction it plans on taking its readers.

All of Donna Marie's books can be purchased from any major bookseller or directly from her website where they'll come to you signed!

-Ellie

CRS Fair Trade

2007-03-22T11:50:00.000-07:00

As far as our finances allow, we have a responsibility to do our best to support companies that have pro-life values and excellent work ethic regarding fair trade prices and fair labor policies.

There is no better source for such shopping than Catholic Relief Services Fair Trade. "The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops supports Fair Trade programs through which disadvantaged artisans, farmers and farmworkers receive fair compensation for the goods they produce."

Many of their prices are reasonable and some of the handicrafts are absolutely beautiful. Consider getting your Easter goodies here...

The Hidden Life

2007-03-22T07:43:00.000-07:00

Most of us, as mothers, homemakers and wives, do not lead glorious, in-the-spotlight lives. We lead very hidden, humble lives. Our days are filled with very humble everyday tasks such as dishes, laundry, sweeping, cooking. It can be terribly monotonous at times, too. I've thought aloud about that in other posts, such as the laundry one. Our life is full of these hidden, silent tasks that are unnoticed by the world. Others do "big" things: they are doctors... lawyers... missionaries in other countries... or they work in soup kitchens and actually make a difference that can be seen. But ladies, the work we do, although hidden, humble, and seemingly unimportant, seemingly uneffective on the world around us, is incredibly worthwile, incredibly effective, incredibly important!! The main example we have of this fact is the life our Lady lived. She was a homemaker, a wife, a mother. She was the mother of Our Lord Himself! But did the world see her? Did the world know what a glorious thing she was doing? No, probably not. We are living the life our Lady did. We are living the quiet, hidden life of Nazareth! What greater honor could we have? Remember, next time you are sweeping the floor, for the upteenth time in the day, or changing another diaper, or doing whatever grueling task you have, that you are doing just what our Lady did. Put your heart into it. Pray that through sweeping the house and nursing the baby you will grow closer to God and to Heaven. Pray that you will find utmost joy in all these tasks. Our work is beautiful, awesome, worthy and -more than the world knows!- important! It may be hidden and go unnoticed... even by your closest relatives and ffriends. But hey, what better opportunity for growth in humility?

~Sia

Question of the Week:The government of God

2007-03-21T21:00:00.000-07:00

As Christians we have comfort in how the Bible tells us that God will always provide. He know our needs. People often cite finances as one reason for postponing a pregnancy, either temporarily or permanently. Now what human "needs" are is a controversial topic in itself. But I want to focus on the topic of government intervention via programs such as welfare, food stamps, and WIC. Obviously there are abuses to state programs but that's not the exact direction of this post either.

Do you think God uses these programs as HIS way of providing for families? Should couples be able to take advantage of these kinds of programs when considering having another child or not?

on peanut butter

2007-03-21T18:50:00.000-07:00

Sia talked about eating real peanut butter on Monday. I posted about this a while ago on my personal blog but the joy is so great I had to share it here: Make your own peanut butter!

Simply put peanuts into a food processor or blender and process until it's the consistency you like! It's that simple! My kids get thrilled whenever I make a batch of peanut butter now... watching how something is made gives a certain joy to little ones.

This keeps for 3 weeks in your refrigerator.
If you can't bear the "natural" taste just yet, add a bit of honey before blending.
Roasted peanuts are drier than regular peanuts and may need a tablespoon or two of oil to smooth it up. Some add oil anyway just for extra smooth peanut butter.
Spanish peanuts are the oiliest and won't need any addition!
I buy a huge party-size tin of regular salted peanuts to use. But they are almost TOO salty so I spread the amount out that I'll be using on a paper towel to shake off some salt before processing.
You can make almond, cashew or any other nut butter this way too!

Childhood friendships

2007-03-20T06:55:00.000-07:00

I was talking with a friend of mine at the park the other day about the good old "do you plan to homeschool" question and she mentioned something to me I keep thinking about in regards to my own children. In a recent comment, one of our readers made the point about catholic school being a great arena for her to learn about friendship. I quite agree but as my friend Brooke and I were talking about the great question she said "You know there was a time in most of our lives when our friends were the most important things in the world." I nodded-- I remember spending hours "breathing on the phone to my friends" as my mom put it, and I am sure most of us did at that junior high/ highschool age, being inordinately attatched to our cliques or sports teams or boyfriends or whatnot... but Brooke went on to say that when all that is over, the people who are really there for you at all the important times in your life-= wedding, first baby, hospitalizations, sickness, etc., are your family. Those people who we thought understood us for ever, "BFF", many of them have drifted out of our lives and are lucky to get a Christmas card. Schooling at home definitely encourages the deepest friendships of family memebers to be well, family members- those who will be with us on our journey for life (God willing).

It makes me smile when we get together with friends and my children still want to sit next to each other at the table because "My brother is my best friend in the whole wide world!" (on our good days). My sister is homeschooling her kids in Vermont- land of pagans- but at least they have good taste and she knows few others who are doing it as well. But one homeschooling family she knows has older girls. My sister asked the 12 year old how her recent birthday was and the girl shrugged and said, "it was ok... my dad had to work". Their father is a nurse. My sister and I talked about how amazing that is: at that age most girls would not have cared about much more than a party with gifts, but this girl was bummed because she just loves her dad so much and wanted to be with him. This relational emphasis is not wierd, it is appropriate. What a joy to have a pre teen daughter whose number one man is her dad! Regardless of what we do - school at home or school in a formal environment, it is good to remember to emphasize the importance of family friendships in our children. Someday they might all live in different parts of the country- but now is a chance to form those friendships and memories to cherish later.

Hope writes from Fillmore CA

St. Joseph

2007-03-19T07:14:00.000-07:00

I think, despite being one of the most popular saints, St. Joseph and his intercession, still don't receive their deserved recognition. A lot of people just think of him as a good guy, a good father and companion to Mary. But think about the divine implications of all this! St. Joseph was deliberately chosen to help raise the Divine Child Jesus and be the husband to the Queen of Heaven. Aside from our Blessed Mother, he had the most important job in the entire history of salvation! His patronage includes MANY things, places and causes... most relevant to this site being families, fathers, married people and pregnant women.

This feast day is pretty big in Italy and an abundance of traditional Italian and Sicilian foods are usually enjoyed on this day. Visit this awesome website for recipes, coloring pages, and symbolism for today. What we'll be doing here, is pretty simple: coloring pictures, reading our Fr. Lovasik book, and talking about how to mimic St. Joseph while my kids carry around their dolls. I'll also be asking for his intercession while my husband undergoes some important medical testing today.

Traditionally prayers to consecrate your family to St. Joseph are often recited on Wednesdays:

Jesus, our most loving Redeemer, You came to enlighten the world with Your teaching and example. You willed to spend the greater part of Your life in humble obedience to Mary and Joseph in the poor home of Nazareth. In this way You sanctified that Family which was to be an example for all Christian families.
Jesus, Mary, Joseph! Graciously accept our family which we dedicate and consecrate to You. Be pleased to protect, guard, and keep it in sincere faith, in peace, and in the harmony of Christian charity. By conforming ourselves to the Divine model of Your Family, may we all attain to eternal happiness.
Mary, Mother of Jesus and our Mother, by your merciful intercession make this our humble offering acceptable to Jesus, and obtain for us graces and blessings.
Saint Joseph, most holy guardian of Jesus and Mary, help us by your prayers in all our spiritual and temporal needs so that we may praise Jesus, our Divine Savior, together with Mary and you for all eternity.

-Ellie

Making Do on Monday: Cultivating Health

2007-03-19T06:51:00.000-07:00

I have some thoughts on health in general today.

First of all, I think that a healthy diet is essential not just for our physical well-being but also for our mental and spiritual well-being. Eating good, wholesome food helps me to feel better overall, assisting me in my mood and everyday presence and state of mind. I don't know about some of you, but I feel that I get more done around the house and tend to be a better, more attentive mama when I have groomed myself first, so to speak. (IE, when I have brushed my hair, gotten dressed, scrubbed my face and mouth and have made a reasonable effort to make myself look lovely and well-put-together.) My diet is the same way. When I eat healthy foods, I feel better, and therefore usually do better.

A healthy diet is, in my mind, also an issue of responsibility. It is our responsibility as mothers, primarily. Our vocation is a very physical one; we nurse babies, grow them in our wombs and give birth to them. What we eat directly effects our children as well as our ability to be good mothers. It is also, in my mind, our responsibility to be healthy not just as mothers, but as Christians! We've been given these beautiful bodies by God, our Creator. It is up to us to maintain them, nourish them, to have reverence towards them.

Our children: They have been entrusted to us. These beautiful little children of ours are not just ours to guide in mind and spirit, but in bodies as well. Sure, the spirit is indeed more important than the body.. but we would be doing them a disservice by not trying to instill in them a sense of health, of good sense in food-intake, and by giving them junk left and right.

A healthy America: Unfortunately we live in a very obese country. Go against the grain! Raise healthy, strong children! A healthy body is not just effected by the consuming of foods but by the lifestyle we lead. Walk to places you can walk to. Stay active. Stay away from the TV. (I read somewhere a while back that watching TV actually decreases your brain cell production. Don't have any way of backing this up!) Weight control is not just a matter of keeping our bodies active but of keeping our minds active. Don't let your mind go squash! Cultivate it.. read a book, don't turn on the TV. If you can't stay still to read, then turn on your favorite edifying talk show... or a story-CD... educate the mind. Go into the burger restaurant instead of through the drive-thru... the list could go on! There are several lifestyle choices we can make day-to-day for our own health and for the health of our children.

Let me clarify what I mean by "healthy". Obviously to eat all-natural, organic foods would be the ideal. However, financially this is not an option for most of us at this point. The first step is simply eating whole foods: Real foods. Good, real, solid foods! What I think is irresponsible is to consistently eat junk food, fast food, TV dinners, etc. If you have the money to spend, treat yourself to shopping for the family at delightful stores such as Whole Foods, Wild Oats, and.. my favorite (because it's affordable and different)- Trader Joe's. If you are more strapped financially and are shopping at the cheapest place in town, just put the focus on real, simple foods in bulk.

Some examples of healthy foods would be... fresh vegetables. Whole grains. Real peanut butter. (Not sugary Jif or Peter Pan.) Whole Wheat bread. Rice and Beans. Pure juices (not ones that contain artificial flavors or sugar.) Yogurt. Olive Oil. Real cream for your coffee; not chemical-loaded "creamers" with artificial everything. Oatmeal. Honey. Etc.

In general, think PURE. Think REAL. Think low-sugar. Don't let the labels deceive you though! "Sugar Free" usually means that it's sweetened with chemicals instead... I could go on about what I think is healthy but this post is more about the importance of being healthy, not a how-to-be-healthy post! I've gone on long enough as it is... and now I'll spare you and stop lecturing/rambling on about what is one of my most passionate subjects, which is our health. Happy meal-times.

~Sia, Vancouver, WA

St. Patrick's Day

2007-03-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

Today is celebrated Ireland's greatest saint. Legends true and tall are endless about this man. But we do know that he is responsible for the conversion of Ireland and the propagation of Catholic education in all of Europe. Great prayers, including his famous breastplate invocation can be found on Domestic-Church. Today consider making authentic Irish Soda Bread. This recipe is from Jesuit Brother Rick Curry who says he couldn't get the recipe from his Irish brothers because they said "It's like boiling water, you don't need a recipe." He had to wait until returning to the States before getting it.

Irish Soda Bread

5 cups sifted all purpose flour
1/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. baking powder
1 stick butter
2 1/2 cups light and dark raisins, soaked for 15-20 minutes and drained.
3 TBS. caraway seeds
2 1/2 cups buttermilk*
1 egg, slightly beaten

Preheat oven to 350. Generously butter two 9 x 5 inch bread pans. Sift together flour, sugar, salt, soda, and powder. Cut in butter and mix thoroughly with hands until grainy. Stir in raisins and caraway seeds. Add buttermilk and egg to the flour mixture. Stir until well moistened. Shape dough into two loaves and place in pans. Bake for 1 hour. Test with toothpick for doneness. Cool in pans for 5 minutes before transferring to wire rack to cool.

*You can make your own buttermilk substitute by adding a tablespoon of vinegar or lemon juice for every cup of regular milk. OR you can use sour cream but this may alter the texture a bit.

-Ellie

Let's not forget them

2007-03-16T07:43:00.000-07:00

This isn't entirely my style of music but the message is painfully right on. Sad fact: for every black baby born, three are killed.

Friday Coffeehouse: Facts about honey and cinnamon!

2007-03-16T06:49:00.000-07:00

Lately my son and I have been having lots of honey and cinnamon in our oatmeal and on our toast as a lenten alternative to jams, syrups and sugars. It comes to mind that these two foods are particularly very healthy. Little did I know, though, that they were also cures! Here are some of the claims to health honey and cinnamon may have. Not all of these are verified, but there is certainly no harm in trying!

DID YOU KNOW??

HEART DISEASES: Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on bread, chappati, or other bread, instead of jelly and jam and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from heart attack...

INSECT BITES: Take one part honey to two parts of lukewarm water and add a small teaspoon of cinnamon powder, make a paste and massage it on the itching part of the body slowly. It is noticed that the pain recedes within a minute or two.

ARTHRITIS: Arthritis patients may take daily, morning and night, one cup of hot water with two spoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon powder. If taken regularly even chronic arthritis can be cured.

HAIR LOSS: Those suffering from hair loss or baldness, may apply a paste of hot olive oil, one tablespoon of honey, one teaspoon of cinnamon powder before bath and keep it for approx. 15 min. and then wash the hair. It was found to be effective even if kept on for 5 minutes.

BLADDER INFECTIONS: Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in the bladder.

TOOTHACHE: Make a paste of one teaspoon of cinnamon powder and five teaspoons of honey and apply on the aching tooth. This may be applied 3 times a day till the tooth stops aching.

CHOLESTEROL: Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of Cinnamon Powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea water, given to a cholesterol patient, was found to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10% within 2 hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, if taken 3 times a day, any Chronic cholesterol is cured. As per information received in the said journal, pure honey taken with food daily relieves complaints of cholesterol.

COLDS: Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for 3 days. This process will cure most coughs, colds and clear the sinuses.

INFERTILITY: Yunani and Ayurvedic Medicine have been using honey for thousands of years to strengthen the semen of men. If impotent men regularly take two tablespoon of honey before going to sleep, their problem will be solved.

UPSET STOMACH: Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomachache and also clears stomach ulcers from the root.

GAS: According to the studies done in India & Japan, it is revealed that if honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas.

IMMUNE SYSTEM: Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the immune system and protects the body from bacteria and viral attacks. Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts. Constant use of honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles to fight bacteria and viral diseases.

INDIGESTION: Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey taken before food, relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals.

INFLUENZA: A scientist in Spain has proved that honey contains a natural ingredient, which kills the influenza germs and saves the patient from flu.

LONGEVITY: Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly arrests the ravages of old age. Take 4 spoons of honey, 1 spoon of cinnamon powder and 3 cups of water and boil to make like tea. Drink 1/4 cup, 3 to 4 times a day. It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age. Life spans also increases and even a 100 year old, starts performing the chores of a 20-year-old.

PIMPLES: Three tablespoons of Honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder paste. Apply this paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash it next morning with warm water. If done daily for two weeks, it removes pimples from the root.

SKIN INFECTIONS: Applying honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts on the affected parts cures eczema, ringworm and all types of skin infections.

WEIGHT LOSS: Daily in the morning 1/2 hour before breakfast on an empty stomach and at night before sleeping, drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in one-cup water. If taken regularly it reduces the weight of even the most obese person. Also, drinking of this mixture regularly does not allow the fat to accumulate in the body even though the person may eat a high calorie diet.

CANCER: Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder for one month 3 times a day.

FATIGUE: Recent studies have shown that the sugar content of honey is more helpful rather than being detrimental to the strength of the body. Senior citizens, who take honey and cinnamon power in equal parts, are more alert and flexible.Dr. Milton who has done research says that a half tablespoon honey taken in a glass of water and sprinkled with cinnamon powder, taken daily after brushing and in the afternoon at about 3.00 p.m. when the vitality of the body starts to decrease, increases the vitality of the body within a week.

BAD BREATH: People of South America, first thing in the morning gargle with one teaspoon of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water. So their breath stays fresh throughout the day.

HEARING LOSS: Daily morning and night honey and cinnamon powder taken in equal parts restore hearing.

Wow. The above is all taken from this site:

http://www.quantumbalancing.com/news/honey_cinnamon.htm

~Sia

"Celebrate Diversity"

2007-03-15T09:22:00.000-07:00

...reads a popular left-wing bumper sticker. I like this sticker for certain reasons. I like it even more when I apply it towards the Catholic world. I kind of want a sticker that reads, "Celebrate Catholic Diversity"... hmm.

The Universal Church has so much diversity, not just in race and culture but in callings, in work, in roles we play in society! I think that it is especially important to remember that within the world of families there is also, and should be, diversity! It sounds simple and obvious, but too often I see families aspiring to be too much like eachother. I've seen this within my own heart and mind at times, too... when I say to myself, well, so-and-so doesn't do this. Or, well, this family would do this. Why don't we? I have since, in the realization (wow!!) that it was not fruitful or edifying to think in this way, altered my mindset and converted it to: What is OUR FAMILY called to be? What are WE called to do?

Each family has it's own charisma. Each family is called to be different in it's own way! What if we all tried to be like each other and there was no diversity? The Catholic world would be a boring, bland place... it would be a production farm of only one kind of produce, not a beautiful field of wildflowers, each flower blooming in it's own way.

I would venture to say that although learning from one an other's examples and looking up to each others' families, it is indeed dangerous to the individual growth of our families to think too much along the lines of, "I want to be like them", in a sense. Perhaps one family is called to pray 3 times a day together... while it may not be another family's calling. It may be one one family's calling to live on a farm and to home school, but another family's calling to live in the middle of the city and go to soccer practice and gymnastics. How boring the world would be, if all the Catholic families lived on farms. How boring it would be if all the Catholic families lived in a suburb and went to Catholic schools. Not only would it be boring, but it just wouldn't make sense! It makes more sense to me that our Lord would want us in the marketplace, in the garden, in the country club, in the poor neighborhood, in the rich neighborhood... in the schools, in the local baseball team. How else can we witness to our faith and be the salt of the earth?

There isn't a right way of living, of raising children, of family culture. But there is One right way, and that is the way our Lord has intended for each family alone. It is the individual, little way of each family in itself. It wouldn't be very productive if we were to always be wishing we were "that other family". We need to direct our minds and hearts to our own little families and let our Lord fashion them in His image, handing our homes, our little Nazareths, over to Him. We need to let our families become what He intends them to become.

Celebrate Catholic Diversity!! ;)

~Sia, Vancouver, WA

another little one!

2007-03-14T21:06:00.000-07:00

Congratulations are also due to Marie K. who welcomed new (10 pound!) baby Sarah Catherine into their family today, March 14! (She shares the day with my dear husband ;o) )

more specifically

2007-03-14T20:48:00.000-07:00

This is Eli Beautel, born after a 10 hour labor on March 9th. Sia had a succesful home birth and is doing well with her family. I'm pray she is resting well and will take her sweet time in getting back into the groove of things online here. Thoughtfully, she left a stock of draft posts for me to put up in the interim period. I actually haven't even talked to her yet; we've been out of phone and internet service all week until today. Thank you to my deary Steph for keeping the blog posts up and running. (I'm removing Sia from the expectant mother list... anyone know about Mary F. due in Feb? I'm taking her off too since she'd be painfully overdue by now...)

Question of the Week: The Passion

2007-03-14T06:47:00.000-07:00

My four year old is begging to watch Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" with us. What would you say? I'd like to think he's spiritually mature enough to handle it but I know better. Still,it feels a bit "wrong" forbidding him from watching a movie that he knows is about Jesus. He's seen our DVD cover front and back and is fascinated. What age would you allow your kids to watch this movie?

Corporal Works of Mercy

2007-03-13T06:47:00.000-07:00

Who remembers the old Baltimore Catechism's list of the corporal works of mercy?

Feed the hungry
Give drink to the thirsty
Clothe the naked
Visit the imprisoned
Shelter the homeless
Visit the sick
Bury the dead

Caring for the poor and depraved in society is not an option for Christians. It is indeed the ONLY way to be Christlike. As mothers, our ability and time to devote to the world outside our homes is limited of course, but the responsibility is no less real. I think it is possible to get TOO "high and humble" on our mothering vocation. We think life is so grand and beautiful, feeding our family, educating our children, loving our spouse. Yes! Do these things! This is our path to sanctification. But don't forget that outside your front door is a whole wide world desperately in need of some of that nurturing. Don't just make sure your car doors are locked when you see someone begging at the intersection. Don't just get rid of all your torn up, stained, ill-fitting clothes. Be real in your charity!

St. Robert Bellarmine was often accused of being generous to a fault. His friends would tell him to stop giving money to some of the beggars because they were deceiving him and taking advantage of his generosity (sounds like the skepticism many of us have with the panhandlers on the streets). But he always maintained that if among 100 deceptors, he was able to sincerely aid one man (or one disguised angel?), it was all worth it. Take a family outing to volunteer at the soup kitchen. If you have several stylish jackets, keep one or two for the different seasons and part with the rest to a St. Vincent's or other such organization. Check your local jail and see if they have a visiting prayer ministry you can join. At least be praying for those who are incarcerated. Volunteer for a Habitat for Humanity build. This would be a wonderful thing to do with older children. And if it's not feasible, offer to bring food or refreshments for the volunteers that ARE working. Here is a link to some of the homeless shelters and soup kitchens in the United States.

What about visiting the sick? "To visit the sick or those in senior years living alone is truly an act of great love and faith. Did not Jesus hold this kind of service as a fundamental Christian way of living? In my view, this should never be seen as a burden or an inconvenience; rather, it is a special blessing and joy. Why? Because each person can only grow from the experience of learning something from the other, and of experiencing the Christ in the other. Is it no wonder that Jesus himself encouraged his followers to visit the sick? They are very close to the heart of Christ." (Fr. Patrick O'Dea) Most of us know someone who is either homebound or in the hospital frequently. Love them in action. Here is a good article on tips for visiting the sick. Finally, bury the dead. That's pretty self-explanatory but the best thing we can remember to do, and not just on All Soul's Day, is to pray for our departed brethren. I hope that people don' t just write me off and continue to pray for MY sould when I die...

-Ellie

Making Do on Monday: A note on organization

2007-03-12T06:39:00.000-07:00

In a post a while back, I shared with you some thoughts on "combining practical with beautiful" in our homes. I think that there some mothers out there who really have a high tolerance for messes and cluttered family homes, for chaos and such. However, there are some of us out there who would go crazy with too much clutter and would be bad mothers because of it. I, for sure, fall into the latter category. Unfortunately, it is a cross at times to be so picky about what I have to look at. There are many ways of which I mentioned one can put touches of beauty into our daily lives. See this post to read more on that.

The reason I am reminded of this today is because on Regina's blog she speaks of her use of baskets in her home. Regina has taken some lovely photos of her basket organization which are worth peeking at. Organization of a home/workspace can become an art in itself. I think that baskets are a perfect example of how to keep a home organized as well as cozy and lovely. When I organize my pantry shelves or my medicine cabinets, I find myself putting all ugly miscellaneous bits into baskets, large and small.

Another wonderful type of container for organizing in the bathroom and kitchen is the jar. Jars can be big or small, fancy or plain. When we lived in an apartment, we didn't have any cupboard space for our pantry items. We had a large open set of wooden shelves... a perfect place for the items such as rice, beans, lentils, oats, cornmeal, bulk herbs and such. So I filled up these shelves with our more beautiful dishes and lots of filled jars. Another place where jars come in handy is in the bathroom. Anything that didn't have a sturdy container to live in, ie a plastic bag full of cotton balls or a box of bandaids (which always end up getting bumped and beat-up), I transferred to a jar or one of my own peices of pottery.

Jars and baskets can both be found in abundance at the goodwill or local city rescue missions. Also keep in mind that often those pasta sauces and jam you buy off he shelves in the store are fantastic jars and look great after a soaking and scrubbing. Last year my mother gave me two larger sized jars (harder to find!) from the Dollar General or Dollar Store.

Also, for knick-knack storage, such as little things like thumb-tacks, glue sticks and other office/crafty supplies (which are in abundance in our home!!) we like to put them into any type of fun container that is a pleasure to look at. -Old cigar boxes, old wooden boxes of any kind, wooden tea boxes, my pottery and such. These can give a sort of funky, colorful touch to the shelves or storage area.

Then there are those fabulous huge popcorn tins for the larger toy clutter which Regina mentioned in both the posts I've linked to. There are a few other mothers-- including my own, who put these excellent storage tins into use. Regina writes, "...But the best baby-proof container I've found are large round tins that holiday popcorn often comes in. I have a row of these in my kitchen storing lots of odd things I don't want my kids getting into. Babies and most toddlers can't open these without resorting to (loud) violent striking with blunt instruments or throwing them downstairs..."

Happy organizing...

-Sia, Vancouver, WA

New Baby

2007-03-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

Sia has given birth to her new baby boy Eli; I'm sorry I can't give all the details right now. We are out of internet and phone until Wednesday so things may be lagging here as I try to get someone to put our posts up. Details to come! Prayers for the mom and baby!

-Ellie

Holy See speak to UN General Assembly

2007-03-09T08:19:00.000-08:00

On 'Authentic' Gender Equality

I like this quote:

"The legitimate quest for equality between men and women has achieved positive results in the area of equality of rights. This quest needs to be accompanied by the awareness that equality goes hand in hand with and does not endanger, much less contradict, the recognition of both the difference and complementarity between men and women. Without this recognition the struggle for equality would not be authentic."

Friday Coffeehouse: Lenten Scones

2007-03-09T07:22:00.000-08:00

A family back in Ohio makes these scones every Lent... they passed the recipe on to a few other families, including my own. And now it's being passed onto all you readers. Thank you, Doughertys!

I Don't know about most of you, but every day, be it first thing in the morning or later in the day, I need a good cup of black tea or coffee and something substantial to go with it. During lent, it's nice to have handy something healthy and a bit plainer to nibble on with your tea/coffee instead of a cookie. These scones are really delicious if you add the reccomended amount of sugar and top with a brushing of milk and a sprinkling of brown sugar before baking. (Though for some people, perhaps they're not sweet enough!) For my husband and I, I have decided to add a Tbs. less of the below amount of sugar, and to use part whole wheat flour instead of all white flour. This makes them a little more "lenten" for us!

Lenten Scones:

Combine: 3 Tbs. sugar; 1 1/4 cup flour; 1 tsp. bkng pwdr; 1/2 tsp. soda; dash of salt.

Stir in: 1 cup oats; 1/3 cup raisins or currants.

Cut in: 4 Tbs butter. Work in with a fork: 1/3 cup buttermilk. (NOTE: Don't add more buttermilk... the scones will be too tough!)

...Press into little ball-shaped scones or press onto counter into 1" thick patties, then cut into fashionable, fun triangles.

Bake on a greased cookie sheet at 350 degrees for 20 minutes... no more.

~Sia, Vancouver, WA

St. John of God

2007-03-08T07:05:00.000-08:00

"Labor without stopping; do all the good works you can while you still have the time. " -St. John of God

What a man wants

2007-03-08T06:54:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been thinking about my husband- trying desperately not to take him for granted. He is very good to me, to our children, etc and he works so hard and loves us so much. I want to be a good wife. Sometimes I focus on trying to look good for him, dress up a little more, actually brush my hair and put on some mascara before he walks in the door; sometimes I try to impress him with a new dinner- or a clean house- or the latest quip I heard on the radio that day- or an interesting piece of world or church news. But it has occurred to me that while these things are all good- what exactly is at the heart of what a man wants in his wife- and we all know because it's what we want too- is a best friend. And what is a best friend? It's the person you laugh the hardest with. It's a person you can't wait to talk to. It is the person who is most interested in what happened to you today. Sometimes I think I ask all the questions to my family and friends but I don't pry enough about what is interesting to my husband and why. Although men have all sorts of needs that I don't have to mention- they are human like us and deeply desire to share, to be understood, to love and be loved. What's the planet between Venus and Mars? Earth.

-Hope finally at the computer

Question of the Week: knock, knock.

2007-03-07T07:19:00.000-08:00

What have your experiences been with door-to-door missionaries? Do you just tell them you're Catholic and are not interested? Invite them in and discuss things? Wave a burning cross in front of their face and loudly start saying a Hail Mary... in Latin? Do tell.

The purity of a child's prayer

2007-03-06T07:02:00.000-08:00

Adults are so quick to want children to grow up. We forget that they are not just adults in training, but real living people with unique charisms all to themselves. They are capable of their own special relationship with God that we'd do best not to interefere with too much. Reading an old Montessori essay on this really put that thought in perspective for me. Moms like me get a big kick out of sharing funny little stories about their children's spirituality. Junior plays "Holy Communion" with brother, or starts baptizing the kids at the play group, or asks loudly during Mass where Jesus' clothes are on the Cross. These things are all "cute" to us. We laugh when they put a bowl of cereal in front of the statue because it looks hungry or when they sing church songs and do their own processions in the home. It's all so darling isn't it?!

Be careful with this.

Christ was very clear about letting the little children come to Him and if we are offering little giggles and smirks when our kids express their spirituality... we are inadvertantly giving them the message that there's something "abnormal" or out of the way about it. OURS is the "right way" to worship: lofty, serious, and composed. But the little ones are closer to Christ than we are!!! And in their minds, they are trying to make sense of the spiritual world in ways that they can understand. This is beautiful and noble! Sometimes, it's hard to resist sharing with a friend something that my kids do that I think is funny or cute in a spiritual way. But I won't be making a public spectacle of it... especially if they are around. I certainly wouldn't want my spirituality to be the topic of conversations. Let's just say it right now, all kids from Catholic families do "sweet" things or say "cute" things regarding the Faith at one time or another. I think offering a gentle smile is fine when your child wants to cuddle the statue or pray for their toys etc. I may even make a note of it in the journal of letters I write to each of them (to give on their 18th birthday). But I don't think we should laugh or otherwise disvalidate what they are doing, especially in front of them. It's more than just "cute." Like the Blessed Mother, who experienced the mysteries of the Christ Child's spirituality, we should "hold these things in our hearts" because the prayers and rituals of our children are 100 times more pure and real than those of our own.

-Ellie

Knowing God

2007-03-05T07:28:00.000-08:00

How do you think that with a bone only three fingers high we should understand the meanings of the designs of God?

- Saint John Joseph of the Cross, tapping his forehead

Making Do On Monday: Help in the 'meatless' department

2007-03-05T07:26:00.000-08:00

Well, there are endless recipes floating in cyberspace right about now as Catholic mamas everywhere pool their meatless meal ideas together to make it through the Fridays of Lent. I'd encourage you to poke in over at www.allrecipes.com also. This is my favorite online resource for food ideas and their vegetarian options are sure to lend you many ideas (we made a creamed corn chowder last week that was superb!). In our house, on meatless days, we eat a lot of quesadillas with beans, salsa, and sour cream. Or grilled cheese with tomato soup or fried peanut butter/jelly sandwiches. And whenever I boil potatoes for a supper, I like to have extras that I keep in the fridge and use for easy breakfasts when chopped up and fried with some garlic, salt and pepper. Speaking of breakfast... that happens often around here on Friday nights: pancakes or french toast, with eggs. Or you can use the above potatoes, fried, and mix in some eggs, green peppers, cheese (mmm, pepper jack!), onion or zuchinni etc., and scramble it all together for a pretty hearty meal. I can do a meatless spaghetti or macaroni or twice baked potatoes and tuna casseroles, but that's about as far as I go. So for some general tips on cooking without meat, I'll turn you over to Sia, who is extraordinarily adept in this department (her black bean and rice burritos saved me when she cared for me while I was postpartum.).

-Ellie

Soups:
You can make nearly any soup you like with a base of sauteed onions&garlic in olive oil. The liquid component for your soup can be cream/milk, stock/broth, or tomato juice with water. An excellent healthy addition to any brothy soup is to add sliced kale or spinach at the last minute before serving. This way the greens are fresh, colorful and yummy instead of cooked until flavorless and brown. Add to the above any pureed vegetable and you have a fine, tasty, thicker, creamier type of soup. Touch up as needed with appropriate seasoning. Pureed carrots go well with nutmeg, salt &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; pepper and cream; pureed peppers go well with s & p, oregano and bay leaves... but with broth instead of cream...every vegetable has it's complimentary seasoning. The protein aspect of your soup can be lentils, beans, miso, etc.
Some soups in this household...
Lentil soup: use above base. Add lentils and water; cook lentils until tender; add water or stock and a can of crushed or diced tomatoes; reheat to simmer and add a couple bay leaves, s&p. Thin by adding more water or stock; thicken by cooking longer with lid off.

The basic-broth-anything-soup:

Make above "base"... add whatever you want: diced potatoes, carrots, chopped green beans, whatever you have in the fridge. Add some broth and cook/sautee until tender. If left to simmer for a while, soup becomes very flavorful. You'll be surprised at how delicious even a base of half-water, half-broth will taste with flavors of nothing but vegetables. All a handful of cooked beans or lentils and you have a delicious complete meal.

The basic-pureed-creamy-soup: Make above base. Steam any vegetable(s) and puree with some warm broth. Add pureed vegetable(s) to the base and thin with a combo of cream/milk and water. Season as neccesary. Our favorite is cream-of-carrot seasoned with a dash of nutmeg, s&p and just the right amount of added broth to the cream/carrot puree.

Rice and Beans:
Rice and beans are one of the healthiest combinations and delicious base for a meal. Rice and beans (cooked, of course) can be served with corn or flour tortillas or alone with a salad. What makes this delicious is a simple addition of salsa, sour cream, cheese and such, or just salt and pepper and a side salad.

Salad
It is winter, but salads are still an option. Add a can of cooked garbonzo beans or tuna or whatever and you have a simple, complete meal.. and very low-fat!

Peanut Butter Sauce (for rice or pasta) ...excellent with a side of stir-fried veggies, especially peppers. I like to cook up some white basmati, stir-fry some vegggies, then toss all in a bowl with this sauce and serve --with chopsticks.:)
Puree: 1-2 tsp. crushed ginger; 1 clove crushed garlic; 1/2 cup-2/3 cup peanut butter; few Tbs. chili powder; 1/8-1/4 cup sesame oil; 1/4 cup soy sauce; 1/8 cup orange juice; water to thin if neccesary.

Simple Carrot Salad (goes really well with the below tofu!):

mix together: about 6-8 carrots, grated; a handful of raisins; 1 crisp apple, finely chopped. Add: enough mayonnaise to moisten to your liking. Mix in some pepper to taste. Serve fresh and cold.

Tofu: Oh, so plain but can made oh, so yummy!
Tofu can be simply stir fried in olive oil and soy sauce, or can be baked. My new favorite form of tofu: Slice into thin little squares (1/8 inch thick, in 2x2 squares) and lay into bottom of a glass casserolle dish. Cover with terriyaki sauce and bake on 350 degrees for about 45 minutes or so. Take out of pan and gently lay onto paper towels to soak up grease/excess liquid. When cool, put into container or ziplock bag and refrigerate. This makes a delicious quick-protein snack.

-Sia

Friday Coffeehouse: Forgo the cream and sugar

2007-03-02T06:55:00.000-08:00

Friday Coffeehouse is usually a bit more books-music-culture oriented, but as I'm getting more and more out-of-commission here as my belly grows and I go more overdue, this week for our Friday Coffeehouse post I will throw out there some thoughts on the Friday spirit of Lent.

Cooking for the family can be hard when the children are not called to fast or when you are pregnant/nursing. We need food all the time... the welfare of our families and bodies depend on food. We have a very physical calling and need to be healthy. We need sustinence. We need calories. We need food!! But what we can do is, as Ellie said in her Making Do lenten-post recently, try to take the focus off of food a bit more. We can simplify the meals and make them more plain. I don't know about many of you, but we don't neccesarily need meat in this family to enjoy food. In general, we can't even afford meat most of the time and eat a mostly vegetarian cuisine. I absolutely love cooking and can make a really delicious meal without any meat. So for me, abstaining from meat during Lent (or even just on Wednesdays and Fridays) is not much of a sacrifice. What IS a sacrifice, though, is to have plain old beans and rice without salsa and sour cream... or plain old lettuce without salad dressing. The hardest for me? Switching to black coffee or having no milk in my black tea. Am I making the latter sacrifice this year? No. You can't give up everything! ;) What may be some good ideas for our everyday food consumption in general, though, would be to:
eliminate condiments...such as salsa on the burrito, syrup on the pancakes, cheese on the chili, jam on toast...you get the idea. The hardest is no salt and pepper!! ;)
simplify the flavor... take the yummy taste out of the food, ie not as much spice/herb seasoning...
switch to honey: replace the syrup on pancakes and sugar on cereal/oatmeal to honey! This isn't as sweet, and keeps it eat-able.
no salty or sugary snacks: instead of putting out the chips and salsa, put out the plain vegggies, nuts, raisins, seeds.
no added sweeteners in the everyday essentials: plain toast, or olive oil insead of butter; plain tea and coffee, with no added sweeteners or creamers.
plain old water: try to drink more water, less yummy juices.
whole wheat bread: many people prefer white to whole wheat, thus this is a good sacrifice to make.

Then there's the obvious note to make...that not all of us are called to give up the corporal things. Corporal sacrifices such as fasting are important aspects of Lent, but what many of us would benefit more from doing would be perhaps choosing to work on a certain virtue; taking up a new spiritual reading daily; spending more time with our Lord in adoration... these are just ideas off the top of my head. In general, we need to remember that Lent is a spiritual pilgrimage. It is a time of dying to self and of self-emptying.

Happy lent to you mamas.

~Sia

We are all called to be saints.

2007-03-01T06:45:00.000-08:00

Someone was recently very generous and gave me "The Gift of Faith" by Fr. Tadeusz Dajczer, which is taking me on an extraordinary spiritual journey, so far. I wanted to share something that really resonated with me from this book. How can we be joyful about the sorrows and trials in our lives? By seeing them as gifts. It's that simple, and that difficult. Sainthood isn't a thing of legends and lofty people of the past. We are all called to be saints, to live simple lives of holiness.

St. Bernadette of Soubirous expresses this beautiful gratitude we should try to model. I'm sure all of us could come up with similar lists:

For the poverty in which my mother and father lived, for the failure of the mill, for all the hard times, for all the awful sheep, for constant tiredness, thank you, my God!

For lips, which I was feeding too much, for the dirty noses of the children, for the guarded sheep, I thank you!

Thank you my God, for the prosecutor and the police commissioner, for the policemen, and for the harsh words of Fr. Peyramale!

For the days in which you came, Mary; for the ones in which you did not come, I will never be able to thank you... only in Paradise. For the slap in the face, for the ridicule, the insults, and for those who suspected me for wanting to gain something from it, thank you, my Lady.

For my spelling, which I never learned, for the memory which I never had, for my ignorance and for my stupidity, thank you.

For the fact that my mother died so far away, for the pain I felt when my father instead of hugging his little Bernadette, called me "Sister Marie-Bernard", I thank you, Jesus.

I thank you for the heart you gave me, so delicate and sensitive, which you filled with bitterness.

For the fact that Mother Josephine proclaimed that I was good for nothing, thank You. For the sarcasm of the Mother Superior: her harsh voice, her injustices, her irony, and for the bread of humiliation, thank you.

Thank you, that I was the privileged one when it came to being reprimanded, so that my sisters said: "How lucky it is not to be Bernadette".

Thank you for the fact that it is me, who was the Bernadette threatened with imprisonment because she had seen you, Holy Virgin; regarded by people as a rare animal; that Bernadette so wretched, that upon seeing her it was said: "Is that it?"

For this miserable body which You gave me, for this burning and suffocating illness, for my decaying tissues, for my decalcified bones, for my sweats, for my fever, for my dull and for my acute pains, thank you my God.

And for this soul which You have given me, for the desert of inner dryness, for Your night and Your lightening, for Your silences and Your thunders, for everything. For You - when You were present and when you were not- thank you, Jesus."(according to Fonti vive, Caravate, Sept. 1960)

-Ellie

Quick Pick

2007-02-28T08:01:00.000-08:00

My husband is reading a book. For those who know me, this is an unusual event. He gets a lot more out of "doing" than reading. But I wanted to highlight this book on our blog because it is so perfectly directed toward the dignity of a MAN'S vocation. Succesful Fathers: The subtle but powerful ways fathers mold their children's characters by James Stenson is an awesome compilation of reflections on the nature of fatherhood. It's more than your typical self-help book. It includes how the traditional economics of the family unit have changed over time and what kind of role that plays in the parent/child relationship. Now, my husband is not only averse to reading, but he is very averse to anyone, "expert" or otherwise, telling him how to raise his children. This book doesn't do exactly that. But a man who my husband respects a lot offered him this little book (it's only 65 pages) and mentioned how it had a huge impact on his life... so my dear agreed to give it a go. And as I covertly browsed it myself, I was struck by the simple and true message in it, I would hope all men see their role as fathers in the way this author describes.

"The greatest challenge a man can face, by far, is that of raising his children well. Without exaggeration, it can be said that his success or failure at this constitutes his success or failure in life." (pg. 9)

Question of the Week: potty training

2007-02-28T06:44:00.000-08:00

When do you start potty training your children? What is your method?

My story and the Rule of Six

2007-02-27T19:09:00.000-08:00

When I had my first son, I was barely 20 years old; my husband was on the other side of the world; and my family was 1000 miles away. I had no clue what I was doing as a mother. It seemed as though there was suddenly this little life given to me and while I knew I had to feed him and change his diaper and such, I didn't exactly know WHAT to do with this little guy?! I think a lot of people fall into the mindset that children are simply accessories to our own lives. We have kids to check off that little box in our lives, much like buying a house or going to college or getting a dog. We think a couple kids will be nice; we won't be lonely and they'll be so much fun to dress up in cute clothes and parade them around. Then they grow older and start talking back and we just try to keep them out of our way as we go about our business... annoyed that they keep demanding our time and attention. Sometimes they bring home a cute drawing from school and we proudly display it on the fridge. We dress them up and get the mandatory family portrait at Sears and send it to all our friends, hoping they'll see what a lovely, well-put-together family we are. Then they become teenagers and it's the battle of wills and we pray for the day they move out so we can go back to "quality" time with our spouses without those kids getting our every spare moment. What a pity. And yet, this is basically what society considers typical, healthy parenthood.

God has so much more in mind for us! For them!

What exactly DO we do with these kids? What does it mean to love them? To raise them? To educate them? If you would have asked me this when I had my firstborn, I probably wouldn't have known what to say... at that point in my life, I was just having a baby because I knew artificial contraception was wrong... not because I necessarily wanted one or had any concept of the vocation of motherhood.

Now, hopefully, the readers of this blog have some sense of wonder, privilege, and humility at being called to our noble vocation; I thank God that I've learned to have this attitude now. But sometimes I think it's tough to answer those above questions STILL.

However, recently discovering the Rule of Six has helped me articulate what I've begun to know but didn't think to itemize. I know I'm johnny-come-lately to this Rule of Six which seemed to get its blog-buzz last October, but there are still many who've not heard of it. Since there is a lot to be gleaned from these ideas, I thought the word should get spread even more.I encourage you to read posts about the Rule of Six from the originator: Melissa Wiley. These can be found in the sidebar of her blog.

Six Things to Include in Your Child's Day:

• meaningful work

• imaginative play

• good books

• beauty (art, music, nature)

• ideas to ponder and discuss

• prayer

So there's that. There now exist many different versions as mamas everywhere are trying to tailor their own rules for what their family needs are. But most follow the same theme of Play, Work and Love. So it may help some moms who are just feeling unsure as to how to go about this whole mothering thing... I wish I'd had it 4 years ago.

-Ellie

Feed the Family!

2007-02-26T12:15:00.000-08:00

Please support one of our readers who is seeking recipes from women everywhere for possible publication in a Large Family Cookbook. These recipes should be frugal, relatively healthy and able to be easily adapted to feed 5+ people. She is also looking for any personal anecdotes, time-saving tips, or other little experiences to sprinkle throughout the cookbook. Feel free to include holiday oriented fare or recipes in any category: breakfast, lunch, supper, snacks, dessert, beverages etc.

Please send all submissions to Rachael:

feedthefamily@gmail.com

Include: Name, location, recipe, yield, time to prepare, (cost per serving would be great but it's not essential) and contact information for her personal use if she needs to clarify something. Thank you! Also, please feel free to copy and paste this info to your own blog so Rachael has a wide variety of submissions to choose from.

Making Do on Monday: Spring Cleaning for the Soul

2007-02-26T06:06:00.000-08:00

We mothers and wives have certainly gotten lots of practice at scrubbing and cleaning our homes. Have we ever really tried doing that within our SOULS? Each year lent comes around I find myself desiring to do this. But have ever really bowed deep down in humility before our Lord and asked Him to show us everything, to humble us, to reveal all that we really need to work on? Have we ever really and truly scrubbed and cleaned every nook and cranny of our souls? This means our whole mind, our whole heart. It's big! It takes a lot of guts to really, honestly, search for every trace of dirt and grime in every corner of of our beings. But what better time than Lent to do this?

Catherine Doherty speaks of lent being a time of "spring cleaning":

Deep inside us there is junk that has accumulated through the years. You have to go and cleanse your soul and heart of it all. Go into your heart and you'll see thousands of things: jealousy, envy-- a lot of things.
So, come Lent, you make a genuflection--not so much of your knees but of your soul-- and you say to yourself, well, here is where I cleanse. I cleanse my soul; here is where I spring-clean it; here is where I make it a place in which God can live.
Think of your soul as a room, a room that you are making ready for God. If you knew God was coming, you certainly would wash, clean and scrub...

One of the great ways to clean your soul is to be specific in your goals. It's easy to fail when we say things like "I'm going to try and be a better person." But each morning, wake up and say "When my husband comes home grouchy and gives me an unfair criticism, I'm going to bite back my harsh reply and be humble and silent like Christ was when unjustly accused." or " Today, I'm going to refrain from yelling at the children." or "When I see ___, whom I really don't care for, I'm going to go out of my way to be kind and thoughtful to this person." or "I am prone to impatience, I am going to slow down and breathe deeply when I feel tempted to get hurried and annoyed with the people." Making very specific attempts to weed out our imperfections, one by one, will produce a very comfortable soul in which the Lord can rest indeed!

~Sia, Vancouver, WA

Apologetics Done Right

2007-02-23T20:51:00.000-08:00

This is pretty amusing.

babies on the way

2007-02-23T07:52:00.000-08:00

There have been a couple new additions to our sidebar's prayerlist; please continue to pray for these women. A couple of the names on there are mothers by way of adoption, and I'd like to point out Stacey C. especially who is hoping to be blessed with a new baby from a teen mother this May. Pray that God's will be done for all these people.

Friday Coffeehouse: Counting and ABCs

2007-02-23T06:23:00.000-08:00

There are a thousand and one different counting and ABC concept books out there. And while you certainly don't need picture books to teach either of these to your children, they can make the process a whole lot of fun. So here is a listing of my favorite concept books. What criteria do I have for a good concept book? Well, I of course look for quality, classy illustrations to delight ME as well as the kids. Secondly, I prefer books with a theme of some sort. Sure the "A is for apple, B is for bear" books are fine, but it's a lot of fun to use letters and numbers to treat the same topic. So here are just a few of our favorites, feel free to comment with yours!

Anno's Counting Book is a gorgeous book with rolling landscapes that change with the seasons and quaint churches and figures appearing to populate the town. All of Anno's books are good books for that matter, and are usually wordless too.

1 is One by Tasha Tudor is absolutely exquisite in it's pictures. I can not say enough good things about this author/illustrator. This counting book isn't totally themed like Anno's but the pictures make you feel like you are perusing a national treasure each time you turn the page.

The Icky Bug Counting Book is a fun and clever book by Jerry Pallotta that goes through all differernt kinds of bugs you may or may not have heard of. I always appreciate books that "sneak in" some educational material and this is one of them with his realistic paintings. As an added bonus, the book doubles as an alphabet book going backwards!

A is for Annabelle is another Tudor book that goes through all the beautiful ways one cares for her dolly. My boys weren't entirely interested in it but I couldn't resist checking it out from our library and wishing I had a daughter to share it with.

G is for Goat by Patricia Polacco is a fun rhyming book about the peasant girl frolicking about with her goats. Polacco's illustrations are always very colorful and detail-oriented watercolors and this one is typical of her Russian countrysides she is fond of depicting.

B is for Bethlehem by Isabel Wilner is obviously out of season, but it's well worth mentioning since Elisa Klevin is an awesome, unique artist who illustrates this. This tells the story of Jesus' birth in sweet little rhymes.

-Ellie

Just when you seem to get a grip on life...

2007-02-21T08:42:00.000-08:00

... something bizarro happens, as if by a calculated stroke of the clock from the evil one. Your prayer life is progressing, you are loving motherhood, your husband and you are communicating beautifully, life is grand.

Just when we think we've risen above the roller coaster emotions of our challenging vocation, you get hit hard. Writing this out is helping me to put that in perspective. I'm never above the temptation to anger and despair. I must always be vigilant for the attacks of the evil one trying to jeopardize my relationship with Christ.

Today, I went to the thrift store with my three little ones in tow. I was wearing the baby and the two and four year olds were riding in the cart while I tried to browse a couple things. The boys were giggling, then standing in the cart. A curt, store employee asks me to have them sit down since many kids fall out of the carts. I nod and smile, of course, slightly overwhelmed because my kids were unruly at the time and I picked a bad time of day to venture out. The boys sit down. Not two minutes later, Leo stands up again to reach for an item on the shelf. The cart tumbles over with a very loud bang. He knocks his head against the shelf and promptly WAILS a piercing scream. Then Dominic starts crying and Xavier is just laying on the floor whimpering. The same woman comes over to me, giving me a very cold, stern look of "I told you so." Another employee asks if we need ice. Leo is fine so I decline. But he is still wailing, now begging for ice. I talk to the boys in as much of a calm voice I can muster, while my dignity and composure are rapidly fraying in a heap behind me: "C'mon boys, maybe we should go." The employees (there are three now) shift around and exchange looks in what can only be interpretted as them not wanting to tell me to leave... but hoping I will. This must be similar to what people feel when their bosses "ask" for their resignation. So I try to shush the baby while picking up Leo and carrying him, still crying, on my other hip. Xavier trudges behind me, crying now because he wanted to stay in the store to play with toys. The entire place is staring at me... it was silent except for my kids crying and my red face screaming for air.

So there's that. It took me a couple hours to digest that but I have it in perspective now I think. I was really rather depressed, feeling like I can't really go out in public anymore... and who am I to think that I have a handle on this whole mothering thing?!

And I have to divorce myself from those thoughts. It was just one day. And it almost makes me feel like I must be doing something right, when things like this happen. The closer you feel to God, the more vulnerable you are to attacks from the one who doesn't want that. He, in his sneaky way, wants us to feel exactly what I am so often tempted to feel: inadequate. This would be such a sucess for him! If we, who are raising the future soldiers and ambassadors for Christ, don't feel able to handle the job... we are inclined to give up or give in to apathy or self-pity. This of course affects our mothering, which plants seeds of easy battle-wins on our children's souls. Where we neglect them or dishonor them, it is like we are creating a mold for their character... with little leaks here and there. And you better believe that he knows their weaknesses, just as he knows ours. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we should be empowered to look at trials like this in a new way. They aren't just "trials from God to endure." Often they are direct battles the evil one tries to plant in our minds. And by recognizing this, we can be ready to fight.

-Ellie

Question of the Week: Lent

2007-02-21T06:49:00.000-08:00

We are supposed to avoid boasting of our fasting or sacrifices... in order to avoid a false sense of piety. But over the years I've learned a lot of good ideas from others on WAYS to sacrifice during Lent. What are some ideas you have on sacrifice that either you've done or heard of during this time?

Lenten Resources

2007-02-21T06:48:00.000-08:00

Here is a great list of online resources or reading plans for Lent:

Stations of the Cross by Saint Alphonsus

The steps of the Passion

The Dolorous Passion by Anne Katherine Emmerich

Complete Text of The Diary of Saint Faustina

Sermons for Lent by John Henry Newman (Scroll down to lent)

Sorrowful Mother

The Dolours of Mary

The Spiritual Excercises of Saint Ignatius

The Imitation of Christ

An excerpt from Dr. Barbet's study on the medical effects of the Passion

Holy Week Meditations by Saint Alphonsus

A Meditation

Artwork of the Passion of Christ

Salvifici Doloris by JPII

Akathist Hymn to the Divine Passion of Christ

The Canon of Repentance

Reflections on fasting and sacrifice

Saint Ephrem on Lent and Holy Week

Saint Ambrose on repentance

Methodius on the Cross

Saint Thomas on fasting

Saint Thomas on Penance Litany of the Seven Sorrows of Mary

Litany of the Sorrowful Mother Litany to Our Lady of Sorrows

Litany of the Passion

Litany of the Precious Blood

Sanctification so sweet

2007-02-20T19:46:00.000-08:00

This little gem of a thought comes from one of our readers (and my dear friend):

The other night Lindsay and I were talking and she mentioned how this life is just a pilgrimage- our sanctification. I didn't think much of it at the time but I've been thinking a lot about that lately- I guess I've never really thought a lot about it before. Anyway, how gracious is God to give us all the pleasures we have in this life when all it is is our sanctification?! We aren't here to just enjoy this life; we're here to suffer and be united in that suffering with Christ. Our children could just be little pains in the butt without all the joy God has so kindly included with them. He gave us all these hormones and such to make us bond and love our children even when they completely test our patience. Anyway, you get the idea- it may be something encouraging for the other mamas to hear...

- Steph is a mother of two in Ogden, UT

New Little Soul

2007-02-19T08:07:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed that we have removed Alexis' name off of the pregnant mamas list....

She gave birth to little healthy Angelique Simone last week. The birth was wonderful and healthy. Thank you all for your prayers, and please pray for the recovery, adjustment and health of mama and baby as they recover and all. Alexis is a first-time mama, with a husband away, so I'm sure she is need of a litle extra prayers right now!

Making Do on Monday: Preparing the Way

2007-02-19T07:04:00.000-08:00

Lent begins in just two days. Like Advent, this is one of the more significant liturgical rythyms in our year. How important it is to celebrate the coming of His Glorious Resurrection by first preparing our minds... and homes. There are MANY, Many ways to prepare our minds and home for Lent and the coming Resurrection. Blogs everywhere are focused on this theme right now. So what you see here are just a few initial ideas for incorporating a sacrificial, sparse atmosphere in your home. Throughout Lent, we hope to post more ideas and reflections based on this season.

Cover all the statues and holy images in your home with a purple cloth. Many churches still do this, and it's a good practice to bring into our homes as well. Remember to unveil the crucifix on Good Friday.

Fill jars and vases with twigs or simple greens to decorate your home. I always love to see some "live" flowers in my bathroom especially so I'll be filling my little vase with a couple shapely branches from our cedar tree. Palm Sunday branches always look lovely in an arrangement. Of course, remember to replace all these with beautiful flowers come Easter Sunday.

Keep your meals simple to help take the focus off of food. And for you frog-eaters out there, I just learned that frog-legs are not considered meat and so are suitable Friday fare... so put that agonizing debate to rest and enjoy your amphibious meal.

Make a centerpiece out of a crown of thorns. There are several ways to make the crown itself--using a salt dough recipe to braid, or by fashioning a grapevine or willow wreath (these materials are available at any craft store if you just don't happen to have a vineyard in your backyard.) Many people use toothpicks planted in to represent the thorns. And children can pull out a toothpick every time they make a sacrifice or do a good deed (piggybacking on the Christmas creche idea). I plan on placing having some kind of candle in the middle of our crown and placing it all on a purple table runner which is likely to last longer than a tablecloth that will have to get washed after every meal around here.

Something new that we'll begin this year is to "bury the Alleluia" on the evening of Shrove Tuesday. This can be done many ways. Children can make an Alleluia banner or picture. I'll be using a blown-out or hard boiled egg, dyed red with white crayon stenciling the word "Alleluia" on it. We'll sing Alleluia loudly tapering off into a whisper until we hide it that evening and then we'll have a hunt for it on Easter Sunday... winner getting a delicious-tasting prize of course.

Participate in Operation Rice Bowl if you can. Many parishes participate in this program and they have little change collectors for you to take home and put money into. It's an awesome way for little kids to learn about sharing their coins and such with very needy people all over the world.

-Ellie

Friday Coffeehouse: Rio Grande Games

2007-02-16T06:46:00.000-08:00

As my profile reveals on here, I'm quite a board game fan. My husband and I drag our friends into board games whenever we get the chance. Back in California, this would involve a few people coming over and me putting my boys to bed while their children wandered around, playing... staying up irresponsibly late while we tried to keep our voices and laughter down from one of our favorite games. I long for those days again. Along with buying books with spare money, board games are another cause for vanity that I struggle to moderate: our hallway closet is full.

As such, I consider myself somewhat of a game connoisseur. I've only played two or three games that I actually didn't like. Everything else has its proper time and place. Word games like Scrabble or Scattegories are for a certain mood, just as party games like Cranium or Apples to Apples are. We even pull out good old Yahtzee every now and again and play with our kids. Then there are the strategy games like Risk or Axis and Allies, which are wonderful learning tools if you have older children as well as just plain fun if you can devote the time to it.

Most casual gamers do not know about Rio Grande Games. They don't know what they are missing! This company publishes some of the most fantastic strategy games EVER and there are a few components that contribute to making this company such an award winning one year after year. First of all, most of their games involve a perfect time length. While I love Risk, I can't pull the all-nighters we used to before we had children to play it. But the strategy games of the Rio Grande company usually last under an hour. So it doesn't monopolize your entire night to play an interesting game.

Another reason I love this company is that the games are artistically interesting to look at. They are simple, usually with wooden pieces, and pleasing to the eye. Furthermore, these games are almost always historically educational... would be a great resource for older children to supplement history lessons in or out of the home. I'll highlight the two games we own, though my wish list includes a few more I'd like to get!

Puerto Rico

This game is the most popular one this company produces because it has won numerous awards and many serious gamers recognize it as the ULTIMATE strategy game... meaning there is almost no "luck" involved. Every move you make affects everyone else and vice versa; throughout the game you have to constantly adjust your strategy to be the most efficient settler to raise and ship crops from Puerto Rico island. There are a lot of rules to go over so the first game is slow and complicated, but once you get it down a vociferous appetite develops to play it again and again.

Carcassone

This is another popular game and the company has produced many variations of it. This is nice because it can be played with 2-5 players and my husband and I have often pulled it out on weeknights and enjoyed playing it together; the game changes each time you play and you become more and more aware of the dimensions involved. "A clever tile-laying game. The southern French city of Carcassonne is famous for its unique Roman and Medieval fortifications. The players develop the area around Carcassonne and deploy their followers on the roads, in the cities, in the cloisters, and in the fields. The skill of the players to develop the area will determine who is victorious."

I highly recommend any Rio Grande games on the market. Your basic Target/Wal-Mart stores won't carry these games. Their website has a list of which stores in your area you can find them in, or you can purchase them on amazon.com.

-Ellie

Learning

2007-02-15T06:56:00.000-08:00

This is just more a reminder to the obvious (pay attention to your children) rather than anything startling or revolutionary, as I know you've all come to expect from me. ;o)

Our blog isn't one that is intended to solely promote homeschooling; wonderful families we know attend all kinds of schools and everyone must figure out what works best for their family situation. However, it helps sometimes to consider alternative learning options by becoming aware of some of the issues we face as parents.

Most of us know that individuals have different learning styles. Various psychologists suggest that there are at least 7 types of intelligence. Here is a link that helps to identify those with regards to children. I don't necessarily think we all fall cleanly into categories but certainly there are dominances and weaknesses in each area we all have.

Why bring this up now? As I've stated before, one of my big reasons for wanting to educate at home is because I want to tailor a custom learning experience for each child I have. In traditional, government schools, learning styles are not usually taken into consideration. Children are graded, sorted and labeled before being put into a classroom with a curriculum that's already determined.

Now for me, I am really good at "school." I can memorize well, read and write essays with ease. I am good at perceiving the questions teachers ask and isolating what I need to know to ace a test (not necessarily learn the material). I am a verbal/linguistic learner. But my husband, who is one of the most innovative thinkers I know, was crummy at "school." They put him in remedial classes and he barely graduated high school. He happens to be a spatial and bodily/kinesthetic learner-- brilliant with woodworking, electronics and the like. I don't consider myself "smarter" than him at all; we have wonderfully complementary styles of reasoning and seeing the world. But he still has very bitter feelings about how certain teachers killed the joy out of subjects he was naturally good at (e.g. Math).

I want to be able to address the learning style that each of my children has shown me developing inside themselves. Leo is extraordinarily oriented in the musical realm. Anyone could see that. But Xavier, I've recently begun noticing... would almost certainly struggle in a traditional schooling environment. Let me illustrate just one example:

My mother-in-law works in an elementary school and sometimes thoughtfully brings packets of pre-school work home to give to Xavier (who really enjoys matching things up and drawing and such). She was recently helping him with one worksheet that was a basic connect-the-dots picture. As he went from number-to-number, he started to do an ornamental looping "detour" before getting to the next number. My mother-in-law, doing what most other traditional teachers would have done, kept correcting him saying "No, you have to go in a straight line." And it struck me as odd. For one thing, when I was young, it never would have occured to me (being good at "school"... not creative spatial thinking) to go in anything BUT a straight line between the numbers. So I could see his brain working differently there. The other thing that struck me was the realization that his instincts to do things in an alternative way would likely be squashed in a formal academic environment... at least in the early grades were conformity is the highest virtue. He'd been connecting the dots as the paper instructed; that he found interesting ways to do so would be reprimanded. Xavier has shown other signs to me that he sees the world in a different way, by being very poetic in describing scenery and constantly finding alternative uses for ordinary things. At the same time, he loves books, but isn't particularly interested in learning how to write or read himself just yet. I'm in no rush.

I've heard similar stories from other parents: one kid was put in "remedial" math because she didn't understanding subtraction. All it took after days of tears and frustration at school was for the mom to sit down with her child and ask about it. The child didn't understand when 3-2=1... where the 2 went... where it was being taken away? An interesting thought actually, that could have been addressed and subsequently prevented such misunderstanding at school.

What I'm getting at here in a long drawn-out way, is that we can really maximize the potential of our children by gently encouraging their skills and aptitudes while being sensitive to the ways they approach information in their minds. I know that there are some wonderful private and public schools out there; if you've found one, what a blessing! But these are the exception and not the norm, unfortunately. The other thing that is important to remember is that you know your child BEST. And most teachers, doing the best they can, do not have the prior knowledge about "where you child" is at or how they've come to see the world, or what experiences are shaping their current motivation or attention. This isn't their fault; most have a genuine interest in the well being of children; but it is an inherent problem with the government school system we have now, and even many private schools too. Here is a somewhat tangential John Holt quote to chew on:

"Any child who can spend an hour or two a day, or more if he wants, with adults that he likes, who are interested in the world and like to talk about it, will on most days learn far more from their talk than he would learn in a week of school."

-Ellie